.my bad fortune.

Since this was on last night in New York, I though I'd post one of the best moments in Seinfeld history from the "Subway" episode. And I'm not one of those freaky Seinfeld people either. Elaine's inner monologue on her way to a wedding and the train stops:

Elaine: Oh this is great this is what I need, just what I need. OK take it easy. I'm sure it's nothing, probably rats on the track. They're stopping for rats! God it's so crowded. How could there be so many people? This guy really smells. Doesen't anyone use deodorant in this city? What is so hard? You take a cap off and roll it on.

What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. These disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage! We are in a cage! What If I miss the wedding?, I got the ring What'll they do?, You can't get married without a ring. Oh god I can't breathe! I feel faint. OK take it easy It'll start moving soon. Think about people in concentration camps. What they went through, and the hostages! What would you do if you were a hostage? Think about that! This is nothing. No it's not nothing it's something, it's a nightmare help me!, Move it come on! Move this Fucking thing!

Why couldn't I take a cab? For 6$ my whole life could have changed. What is that on my leg!? I'm never gonna get out of here. What if I'm here for the rest of my life? Maybe I'll get out in 5 seconds, one banana, two banana, three banana, four banana, five banana...no I'm still here! Still here! When will they start moving? Move!,move!,move! (train moves) It's moving!, it's moving! Yes! Yes! (train stops) MOTHERFUCKER!.

.some bird of paradise.

Taken from the amazing MAO:
Please give if you can and support the arts!

.and i feel like.

Just in case you forgot:
The best news story of the year.

.just what it was worth.

It's going to be one of those days.
Isn't it?

I woke up and there was
no
winterwonderland
as promise
by all weathermen in new york.

I couldn't get up.

I left early to deposit my paycheck.
I sat down on a bench in the station.
To read my book.
I hear bad 90s dance music and look up
To see who was listening to it.
And
I looked up to see a man,
Masturbating
In front of me.

If I had a hardback book
I would have taken it
and swung with all my energy at his crotch.

But the train came (no pun necessary).
And I burried my nose in my book
(1984)
And realized it was going to be one of those day.

Jesus fucking Christ.

.and the meaning.

and i though
a weird bratty kid living
next door
was
bad.

someone
on my floor just got a new
dog.puppies.whatever.
and said whatever
has been howling
all day
sometimes causing
a chain reaction
of howls.

literally.
none stop.

can i have that weird little
brat,
who leaves lists
that are unfinished
under my door,
back?

my guilt
of the poor puppy subject
is being outnumbered by my hangover.

.time travel.

Ugh.
Producers!
Give up.
You're fucked without the
writers.
Give them a break.
And give us back
The Daily Show
and
The Colbert Report.

You can keep Leno.

.talking about.

(subtitled: SUBWAY GONE MAD!)



So, every one in New York has laughed at and then felt awful has seen this video. It's by an aspiring filmmaker but not staged (I believe this, others doubt it) and features a gang of really, really annoying girls attacking a random guy.
Watch.
And love.
And feel bad for loving.

Also....
The A,C,E,B,D,F and V trains are running.
very
very
slow.
As I waited in the parked F train
the whole car gawked at the medical team coming into a stopped B train which had been evacuated.
People love accidents.
It gives us an excuse to say
I was there!
And tell our story.
over
and over
again.

Gotta love it.

.just what i could do.

(subtitled: a review)

So I just got back from the Banksy show at the Vanina Holasek Gallery (on the same block as Aperture, of course). Today was also the first real snow in the city and it was still coming down as I headed out for the show.

What opening is 1-5 on a Sunday?

Anyways. It's snowy and cold and I get there (it's a very small gallery in an old three story townhouse, a great, different space) at about 1:10 and there is already a line down the block. Apparently the gallery can't hold more than 111 people at once and everyone had to move up and down the stairs in shifts.
The wait wasn't long and the people behind me were hilarious and I should have said something but I thought it to be rude. Oh well.

As for the show.

I didn't like it.
Not at all.
I thought I would. I love Banksy and his "work" (he is the artist of this generation that makes all sorta of people ask that horrid question, "is it art?") but it does not belong in a gallery. It looked completely out of place, like a hobo in a business suit at the beach.
The gallery was "destroyed" which meant candles, smiley face night lights, Christmas lights in wastebaskets (what was that?) and pink paint splatter all over the wall to resemble (?) the drips of graffiti. I guess. His work which is usually spray painted all over Britain seemed to defy its purpose carefully printed and framed (on this splatter wall). I understand the contrast of these two but the execution was incomplete.

For those who have no idea who Banksy is, there is some great material on him and his work, especially since there are little (if any?) appearances of his work in America. His stencils are commentary on the currently climate of unrest, unemployment, royalty worshiping/hating in Britain. It reminds the viewer that the Thatcher-ism that plagued the nation in the 80s is still in effect today.

In Banksy's world Princess Di is on the pound note, the Queen is a monkey and Winston Churchill has a mowhawk (this one was new to me and I felt it was just a stretch for him). It also deals with the brands and companies that are dominating Britain, especially Tesco who, to my knowledge, doesn't really have an American equivalent (the closet I guess would be a large Costco or Walmart). He now plays with Warhol imagery and places it in a dim, modern context. Which, as being bias toward the side of the fence that hates Warhol, I didn't like at all.

Banksy is best when he's on the street. Playing with the environment he's graffiting on (see picture). His earlier rats played on British politics and classism that was effective and also interesting aesthetically. He created controversy by spraying anything and anywhere making the public question more what is was about rather than if it was art. The only thing people seem to interested in now is how much (for Christ's sake Angelina Jolie bought a works by him, ugly ones at that) and what he actually looks like and who he is (actually that's been answered but I don't know what the next step is). I was really looking forward to the opening, hoping it would be chaos and tagging going on all over the place. But it was like any other art opening, where people came to talk to each other and shuffle by the art in a line.

So, thats my review and if any New Yorkers are reading this you should check it out and report back to me. I'm trying to answer my own question if its genius in its unabashed candidness or corny beyond reason.

And also, if you're a British ex-pat, don't worry all your fellow countrymen/women are at that show, I was one of maybe 12 Americans. You should feel at home (?).