.her sick.

I had the
best
train conductor the other day,
among his gems were,

(pulling into the station and no one getting on since the train was too crowed)
"Good, we didn't want them anyway..."
(moments later pulling into the next station)
"...oh wait, here's the rest of New York"

only moments later to say the
greatest line
I have ever heard on a subway,
"Don't worry folks, this experiment in human sardine-ary will soon be over"

and I wonder
how
to use
sardine-ary
every day.

.has made.

Maybe I'm on this weird
Japan kick
after watching
Katsuhito Ishii's
Funky Forest
and
The Taste of Tea
'cause I can't get
enough
of these
Kikori no Kirikabu
and their counterpart, the
mushroom-shaped cracker
that taste
exactly the same.

Yum
in my face.
(she says after working out - *shrugs* life is still good)

.amphetamine.

I don't know who
this
is, but I really liked his
last answer
to New York Magazine's
21 Questions.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Well, for every New Yorker there are at least five or six crucial doors. There is the door to their residence, their business, their bedroom, their bathroom, and that private door behind which they keep their hidden selves. How they balance their public persona, their family responsibilities, and their hidden, truest selves is what defines them as people and ultimately New Yorkers. The most remarkable people in this city are those not afraid to express that private self (be they writers, community leaders, musicians, dancers) and, in so doing, give all of us a great insight into the human condition. There are many New Yorkers — to me the people who can do that are the truest.

Amen!

.she's in a fix.

Here's an update,
this is the only
I wanted
anything
to do with yesterday:













And also yesterday,
waiting there at 23rd street F
for 30 minutes
with 25 lbs of
kitty litter with me
I stood there
(in 4 in. heels)
with my eyes closed
Pachelbel's Canon playing
in my
ears
and wasn't on
that platform.
I was
so
far
away.

.dropout.

I was
going to talk about
Bo
(hey there Bo - name that movie!)

but now
after a
"sick rider at 34th street"
I just want to say
I hate all people
you've all annoyed me today
every
last
one
all, what?
5 billion?
yeah
boo on you all.

Screw this
I'm ordering a
big
greasy
pizza
that can
barely
hold the weight of it's own
cheese.

.Susan in a ball.

If this doesn't teach you not to judge a book by it's cover, nothing will

(and titles for my posts are just taken in order of song lyrics - this one was a beautiful coincidence)

.she rolled.

I would have scoffed
at this
a couple weeks ago
but after realizing the
awesome power
of Entourage,
it just proves how
cool
Obama really is.

ALSO!
How do I get invited to the
White House
seder?!
Will Rahm and Axelrod be there?
I'll sit at the
kids table
with Sasha and Malia!
I'll share my charoset
and I promise not to
down
Elijah's wine when no one's looking.

.her light.

Thoughts from the last week

(since I've been semi-MIA):

1. I have yet to be on a normal running train since Friday night.
2. My mom told me about this clip from the nightly news and I've seriously been teary-eyed since watching it.
3. What is this?
4. Newest Bonko Blago news: he actually tried blackmail Rahmbo. He'll be dead in six months.
   
5. I like this video as well.
6. Sarah Silverman made cookie parties sound like fun, but they are not. No one can consume that many cookies. I desperately wanted a salad.
   

.she can't turn out.

The trailer for Spike Jonze's
Where the Wild Things Are
is now up (see here).

Super excitement.
So much that
October is
too
far
away.

Much unlike the
trailer
for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
Fail.

.she's uptight.

The story that made me (almost) cry at work.

.poor mary.

Today's the day.
MTA "doomsday".
$108 for a monthly pass
25% increase in all fares.
(and I heard) even for the student passes
on express buses.

Great.

Because Mr. Bloomberg -
Nothing says I
care
about my self-appointed position as
head of city schools
like closing several Brooklyn schools
and hiking up fares for
students.

And you're "blessing" us with
the idea
of another term?

Gee, thanks.

(see previous rant)

.to be solved.

Was everyone in New York
stoned
this weekend?
Seriously.
Greenpoint, you have
a stoner problem.
It's freaking me out.

.she's got problems.

Can Albany draft up
a plan
to ban
fat idiots moving
slowly through
the one turnstile
as the
train comes in?

I'm deadly fucking serious.

(or, alternative option that an intern at work suggested is that all the fat people go into another car as to not hog seats from the rest of us - yeah it was offensive and sorta true. And I'm not talking about like normal overweight I'm talking about triple digital waist size)

.revolve.

I had to deal with Michael Steele when he was still in Maryland. This ad played constantly during the campaign which made me want to pull out my hair. And lucky, lucky me he's back in the spotlight trying to be cool (note the super cool music in the background) and I get to hear him making stupid comments all over again.

He's such a wonky boob.

.and times.

Do I
want
to know what that
clear
smooshy bag on the subway
platform is?

No,
I do not.

.her treats.

Question:
Can a male Orthodox Jew shake hands with a drag queen?

This question popped in my head the other day on the train. When I stepped off the train, with a Hasidic man who was riding with me, to let the passengers out, he stole my standing spot and I was really irked. Like, that was my spot. It had perfect lean-age availability and the perfect place for me to continue to read my book. Actually, the only standing spot where you could read a book. But no, you took it and you knew I was going to go back on the train. So then I thought about forcabily shaking his hand or rubbing my ass on him or something really sacreligious like that.

Stupid rude chamoole with his cheap yarmulke.
A choleryeh ahf dir!
See how cranky I get in the morning without my coffee?
Now that's blasphomhy.

.trick.

I just wanted to share this with you all.

.she's turned another.

It's now cheaper to live in
London
than New York.

I can get a 2br in
Notting Hill
for $1,600 a month.

Buy 1/2 gallon of milk for
£.83
($1.14)

Screw this.
Screw you Bloomberg.
I blame you......
for everything.
I missed the train!
All your fault
Bloomberg!
My heel broke!
Stupid Bloomberg.

Aren't things suppose to be
cheaper
in a recession?
(you know what smart asses, don't response, I know what you're going to say but for argumentative purposes, let me have my fun)

.her lick.

Oh my!
I was actually stopped
at West 4th Street
by the police for a
"random bag check"
(which means them wiping your bag with a piece of paper and putting it in a machine - how that works? haven't the slightest)
only minutes after thinking
gosh,
I must never look
suspicious enough;
just too damn white.

.dear Ingrid's found.

I was taking a
survey
online
(why?
I have no idea)
and it was asking about
vacations
and I realized that I haven't had a
real vacation
(like a hotel
pool
flight or subsequent travel
and not for just a
weekend)
in years.

Sigh.

That was the saddest thing
ever.

Where to go?
With what money?