.and I feel like....

(PS: this will be long and I don't exactly expect anyone to finish my ramblings - and I cannot find the html code to break this up, please send me if you have it for Blogger)

So, one of my favorite things in the world is the Oscars. I don't care that it has cheesy montages, sappy tributes and it is generally self-serving. I love it. If February goes by with my eating vegetarian chili and corn bread while watching it, life is nothing.

I love the movies. I love going to the movies. I don't care that it's usually between $11.50 and 13.75. I will not eat to instead go to the movies. It gets bad when I'm not working.

So here are my picks and ideas for the main categories:

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BEST FOREIGN FILM:

Most years I feel this category shows off the amazing achievements in international film making. Only one entry per country allows countries like France and Italy not to dominate the category. Past amazing winners have included The Barbarian Invasions (one of my favorite films, amazing since I thought The Decline of the American Empire was unbearable and obnoxious), No Man's Land (even though it won over Amelie), All About my Mother (via la Pedro!) and The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (among many others obviously).

But this year the nominees are ones I actually haven't heard of (for me? I know!). Persepolis, Lust, Caution and 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (from Romania who has been starting to become a powerhouse in cinema) were all snubbed and movie people freaked out. I have no picks and will flip the channel when this award is presented. So there!

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BEST ANIMATED FILM:

Another what the fuck category. Surf's Up is nominated for an award (not even going to both with linking that one)? I know most people are complaining that the Simpsons Movie wasn't nominated but I really didn't like it and I'll leave it at that. Persepolis and Ratatouille are nominated. Even though the former is from France I think the French public has embraced the latter more. Rataouille has the cute factor while Persepolis has the emotional factor. If Persepolis wins it will be a "sorry for not having you in the Foreign Film category". Hard choice. My prediction = Ratatouille.

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BEST SCREENPLAY (ORIGINAL):

Dear People of America: Juno is good but horribly overrated! This category, I feel, is up for grabs. People will get their panties in a twist if Juno doesn't win and I wouldn't be surprised if Diablo Cody won (especially because she is an attractive ex-stripper with hipster tattoos and taste in music - wacky!). Ratatouille was good but not Oscar script worthy. Lars and the Real Girl hasn't been getting awards so, no on that one. Michael Clayton is too serious to win this category - the Oscar has recently been given to people like Charlie Kaufman, Pedro Almodóvar, Sophie Coppola, Alan Ball and Quentin Tarantino - all for scripts very unique and Sundance-y. Tamara Jenkins is nominated for the Savages and wrote and directed one of the my favorite film Slums of Beverly Hills. My vote = Tamara Jenkins, especially since the Academy loves anything with Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman (as do I) and with this film they get a double punch.

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BEST SCREENPLAY (ADAPTED):

Whoa! Super tough category! I really think it's a three-way competition between The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, No Country for Old Men, and There Will be Blood. Which ever film wins this will win for best picture. I'll tell you that. I don't think Diving Bell win will win Best Picture so its down to the Cohen Brothers vs. Paul Thomas Anderson. The Academy has generally overlooked P.T. Anderson - going for nominations for the actors in his movies rather than his directing and scripts. My prediction = No Country for Old Men even though There Will be Blood should get a runner up award.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

A woman playing a man?! Insane. Cate Blanchett is of course getting rave reviews for I'm Not There and the Academy loves gender benders. But Ruby Dee is old and has been acting since the '40s and the Academy loves giving people awards for just still be alive. Saoirse Ronan is too young and Tilda Swinton has done better work. Amy Ryan might steal the award because the Academy loves drug addicts and generally awful human beings. My prediction = actually no one really cares about this category because of the Supporting Actor category but I say Cate Blanchett and she will look fabulous accepting the award. cx

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

If I was not Javier Bardem and nominated I wouldn't even bother showing up to the award show. This is shoe in and there will be riots on the streets of Hollywood and Spain if he doesn't win. He's one of the greatest living actors and deserves all the accolades he's been getting. He was No Country for Old Men. Any other actor would have drowned in the intensity of that script but he was perfect. It's especially amazing because he has generally taken richly emotional roles and Anton Chigurh is the most psychopathic, emotionless human beings ever on film. He also has the most amazing Dorothy Hamill haircut ever! Bardem will be nominated again in the next year or whenever Killing Pablo comes out - he plays Pablo Escobar and that is just another Oscar shoe in. This also means more screen time for Bardem and I'll be honest, he is one of the most amazingly attractive people on the planet. Muy caliente! Also, I would have enjoyed No Country just a little bit more if he looked more like this (see right).

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BEST ACTRESS:

To be honest I find this category a little lackluster. I don't think there was one really amazing part for actresses this year. Cate Blanchett for The Golden Age - that's a joke right? Ellen Page - that's another joke. Have you ever seen her interviewed? She is Juno, she wasn't acting, she just wore a pregnant belly. Marion Cotillard - glad she was nominated, I feel she's been a little overlooked because she's not very well known stateside. My prediction = Julie Christie for Away from Her. The Academy loves Alzheimer's victims and come back actors (she won her first Oscar in 1966) and has generally been forgotten since then. However, I would love if Laura Linney or Cotillard took it instead.

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BEST ACTOR:

Another category that if I wasn't Daniel Day Lewis, I wouldn't bother showing up. Come on. I love Johnny Deep and Viggo Mortensen (Tommy Lee Jones and George Clooney - who won't win because no one wants to hear another fucking smug speech - I could live without) but they have a snowball's chance in hell on winning although I think it's great that they nominated because they are great actors. But Daniel Day Lewis made There Will be Blood. I just saw it last night - in Times Square which equals idiots everywhere but that's another story. Although Anderson's movie is great Daniel Day Lewis is almost too good an actor. Paul Dano, Dillon Freasier and Ciaran Hinds are all amazing yet unfortunately overlooked, although they shouldn't considering they all held their own opposite Day Lewis (or is it just Lewis? Mmmmm...?) On a side note: prediction for future - give Paul Dano one more amazing role and he will be nominated for an Oscar. He's an amazing actor who is almost there. Day Lewis is best when Daniel Plainview is on the edge of extreme violence. I'll write more about it later. But yes - My prediction = Daniel Day Lewis (and the true love of my mother's life) will get his much deserved second Oscar this year.

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BEST DIRECTOR:

I love the Cohen brothers. I really do. I'm glad No Country was good because I thought The Ladykiller, Intolerable Cruelty and The Man Who Wasn't There were just unbearably forgettable. They have been getting a lot of press for having the best film of the year but P. T. Anderson, as I mentioned before is overlooked for no reason whatsoever. He is an amazing director. Julian Schnabel is showing himself to be a great director with Basquiat (which a lot of people didn't think but take Courtney Love out and it would have been perfect) and Before Night Falls. Anything that takes him away from throwing porcelain plates on a canvas is good in my book. My prediction = In an upset Schnabel will win. But if Anderson won, I would be very happy as well.

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BEST FILM:

First Atonement will leave the Oscars without any awards - I'll make that prediction. And their shameless advertising for the Oscar is becoming repulsive. Michael Clayton will also leave without any awards. Juno will not win this category although I'm game for anything with Michael Cera in it (we'll get married one day and have awkward children who run into walls). So that makes it between No Country for Old Men and There Will be Blood. I liked There Will be Blood more even though the cast of No Country was stranger (PS: no nod for Josh Brolin? Brad from the Goonies did so well for himself!). My prediction = No Country for Old Men and we'll all applaud and we won't be shocked and then Jon Stewert will says= thanks for coming and end of the show. Shrug.

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Other categories:

• None of Eddie Vedder's music from Into the Wild was nominated = Lame.
• Only one song from Once was nominated = Super lame.
• Johnny Greenwood's soundtrack for There Will Be Blood made the movie and is one of the most amazing pieces of movie scoring in cinematic history and it was not nominated because it wasn't %100 made for the movie = Not lame but bullshit.
• All but one Best Documentary nominees is about the Iraq war aka: these filmmakers are Oscar fishing = Rooting for Michael Moore.
• Waitress was snubbed for at least screenplay if not actress = I am upset and itchy.