(i'm so happy i cried)

Obama: FUCK YEAH!!!!

.whizzin' on down.

The person who thought of the Queens
house numbering system,
is the same person who thought of the
B&H Photo system.

Neither makes much sense.

.there on the block.

Filed under:
things I do not understand.

WYNC was having a
one day
pledge drive
on Tuesday.

A foundation promised
to double (or something like that)
every dollar people donated.
Now,
why doesn't the foundation
(with it's probably
super rich
trustees)
just give twice as much?
Why ask average people
(although, yeah, the WNYC listener is
probably
a little better off than
most people)
to donate,
especially during a recession
when you damn well have the money in the
first place?

I do no understand this.
Please explain why
I
a listener
has to give money I don't have.


......I'm waiting.

.to that drag bar.

POLITICO:
(1)
Oh boy!
Oh boy!
I hope John McCain picks Tom Ridge
for his running mate.

Total disaster.

He's going for the PA vote,
but people in PA hate Ridge now.
He suggested suffocating ourselves in our
own homes
to protect us from terror.
And he's rainbow-tastic!

Genius!

(2)
"I could be your human lollipop"
He could,
just
look
at
him.

.out of the cinema fourteen.

I went for an amazing walk on Saturday morning.
Here it is with points and stories.

.well you spill.

This is my face today:


I could hypnotize people the freakish deformities on my face. Fuck!
I case you have no idea about the image above, watch here.

.down down downtown.

My comments regarding an article in New York magazine interviewing two people who live in the same area that I do:
(click to enlarge)

A. "Whole Paycheck" *slaps knees* OMG! That is like, totally funny! You should do stand up!

Actually, for the brands they carry, Whole Foods offers the best price than other places. So, you know.

B. Stop 1 Deli - yeah, you can get booze for cheap, if you're wearing a low-cut top, skirt and are willing to be leered at beyond any amount that a human should be subjected to. I sorta look young and I can just say, Yeah! I'm 23! and it works. Good thing I actually am.

C. This place offers organic, healthy or some fucking shit like that Chinese food. I don't doubt it's good but seriously, if you want Chinese food why would you pay 40 times as much for non-greasy food? That's the best part of Chinese food - it's bad for you and sooooo good. Go to Six Happy Kitchen down the block for a million dumplings for like 5 bucks.

D. Flowers Cafe is a "cute" place with nice people but the food is mediocre and I keep thinking it won't be but it always is.

E. Valley actually is pretty sweet. The clothes are overpriced and the shop girls are little annoying but nails and wax are fab!

F. Again, that's very true. It's not really a park but rather a street with some swings and a library.

G. Fuck that hipster store. No one is ever in there. Why did they decide to open here?

H. All those galleries in the area suck balls with crap art. And exactly the point she brought up is why: they took up the space where Flickers was - again, annoying hipsters worked there but it was some seriously awesome fresh coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. I had no idea, honestly, that Fine Far accepted cash and not just food stamps. I've never seen edible fruit or vegetable in there but god damn! they have 15 different types of Oreos!

2. This is worst than the Rite-Aid on McMechen Street in Baltimore and that's saying a lot.

3. Agreed. But it is the most unsettlingly clean deli on Delancey.

4. I might get shot by a gang of native New Yorkers but I do not think Kossar's Bialys is that great. It's better than grocery store bagels but I still like Bob's Bagel on University.

.we’re all going.

Chinese mafia? Whaaaat? No, I'm kidding. They run all of Chinatown. Really. Every Chinatown bus too.

.c'mon honey.

Today, about
70%
of the time I passed
members of the opposite sex
I've been harassed.

Seriously, stop it.

I'm wearing baggy jeans
and a vest;
I look like a little boy.

I heard a story today
on NPR
about domestic abuse workshops
and trying to help men understand
and respect
for women.
At the program the woman said
(to a group of mostly black and Hispanic men),
"When a police officer says
Good Morning
to you, do you honestly think he wants to
know
if you're having a good morning?"

It's abusive.
I refuse to feel unsafe
in open, public areas.

In conclusion:
FUCK OFF!

(image from here)

.boy and you relax.

I walked from
work
to the Broadway/Lafayette
subway station
yesterday.

There was a huge crowd
around
W. Houston & Wooster
with some
occasional screaming.

I groaned,
NYU must be having
an orientation
or something.

No, I was wrong.

There were hundreds
of small girls
with
Mrs. Jonas
t-shirts
apparently waiting
for the three
like
totally
super
cute
Jonas Brothers to appear.

I had no idea these
three
existed
until, eh, maybe two months ago.

Seriously, at one point
I think
I was thrown in the line.

Again, seriously, WTF?
And I couldn't bring
myself
to post a photo of them
on this blog.

(But I think if I was in high school right now I would have secret crush on Nick and pretend like I didn't)

.sit right there.

QUESTIONS ANSWERED and OTHER THOUGHTS:
1. No, although I live in New York I do not know what the Montauk Monster is. I have no theories. It's not like a New York secret that we're keeping from the rest of the world. I really have stopped caring after ralphing my lunch after seeing it. Whatever it is, we're all looking at a gross dead animal carcass.

2. Please stop asking me if I adopted Princess Chunk/Powder. Along with the Montauk Monster, I am so over this. My attention span has shortened at a massive rate. Why? Because everything in New York is blown out of proportion and over exposed to the point of nausea.

3. I was in Queens yesterday. The social, hipster scale now stands at first Queens is massively cool and hipstery, then Manhattan because it's so cool it got uncool and is now, you know, whatever (my living there actually garnered the response: Oh that's cool. What?!? Like, no one lives there anymore and it is now awesomel) and then Brooklyn, because it is so over. Staten Island and the Bronx have yet to be properly territorialized with boutiques and Thai restaurants. What is it with hipsters and Thai food? I don't get it. I have yet to have a Thai meal in New York better than mediocre.

4. Why is it that like, every week there's a new rating system for the subway? People love complaining about how their line is worst. How it's the dirtiest, slowest, smelliest, etc. I'm over it. I've been in the city only a little more than a year and I'm used to it. Sometimes a car is air conditioned, sometimes it isn't. I like joking and complaining about little misadventures, but seriously, I'm on the fucking train for an hour of my life every god damn day of the week. It's gonna suck. Get over it.

5. At least it's not this.

6. Does the New York Times think I'm that stupid or is the Con Ed bill just that hard to read? I pick the former.

7. To the fat guy, shoving donuts in his mouth while at the same time searching through his crap for his Metrocard this morning: You do not have the right to be blobbily standing there, shoving donuts in your mouth at the turnstile and yell "Hold it! Hold the train!". No. You do not get that right.

8. Escalators. Keep walking when they end. This has happened to me for the past week. I do not understand. Escalators were invented 149 years ago and are probably in every country in this world. It's not a hard concept. It's the opposite of a hard concept. Like moving sidewalks at the airport. Very, very, very easy to understand.

9. Coffee machine is back at work. Rejoice.

10. This is actually funny.

11. And I haven't watched the national news in over a week and I think I'm in a better state of mind for it.

12. Easy as pie....