.sit right there.

QUESTIONS ANSWERED and OTHER THOUGHTS:
1. No, although I live in New York I do not know what the Montauk Monster is. I have no theories. It's not like a New York secret that we're keeping from the rest of the world. I really have stopped caring after ralphing my lunch after seeing it. Whatever it is, we're all looking at a gross dead animal carcass.

2. Please stop asking me if I adopted Princess Chunk/Powder. Along with the Montauk Monster, I am so over this. My attention span has shortened at a massive rate. Why? Because everything in New York is blown out of proportion and over exposed to the point of nausea.

3. I was in Queens yesterday. The social, hipster scale now stands at first Queens is massively cool and hipstery, then Manhattan because it's so cool it got uncool and is now, you know, whatever (my living there actually garnered the response: Oh that's cool. What?!? Like, no one lives there anymore and it is now awesomel) and then Brooklyn, because it is so over. Staten Island and the Bronx have yet to be properly territorialized with boutiques and Thai restaurants. What is it with hipsters and Thai food? I don't get it. I have yet to have a Thai meal in New York better than mediocre.

4. Why is it that like, every week there's a new rating system for the subway? People love complaining about how their line is worst. How it's the dirtiest, slowest, smelliest, etc. I'm over it. I've been in the city only a little more than a year and I'm used to it. Sometimes a car is air conditioned, sometimes it isn't. I like joking and complaining about little misadventures, but seriously, I'm on the fucking train for an hour of my life every god damn day of the week. It's gonna suck. Get over it.

5. At least it's not this.

6. Does the New York Times think I'm that stupid or is the Con Ed bill just that hard to read? I pick the former.

7. To the fat guy, shoving donuts in his mouth while at the same time searching through his crap for his Metrocard this morning: You do not have the right to be blobbily standing there, shoving donuts in your mouth at the turnstile and yell "Hold it! Hold the train!". No. You do not get that right.

8. Escalators. Keep walking when they end. This has happened to me for the past week. I do not understand. Escalators were invented 149 years ago and are probably in every country in this world. It's not a hard concept. It's the opposite of a hard concept. Like moving sidewalks at the airport. Very, very, very easy to understand.

9. Coffee machine is back at work. Rejoice.

10. This is actually funny.

11. And I haven't watched the national news in over a week and I think I'm in a better state of mind for it.

12. Easy as pie....