OSCAR LEAD UP: Part One - The Percentages

The Oscars are Sunday
(pretty people! pretty clothes!)
and since you all know that I
love
the movies
I've put into percentages
my 2010 movies viewing habits.

-----------

NUMBER OF MOVIES RELEASED: 366

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I'VE NEVER HEARD OF:  43 (159 titles)

Titles include: My Suicide, Celine: The Movie, Suck and The Yellow Handkerchief (which I mistaking guessed as a sad Korean/Chinese movie but is actually a well reviewed but rarely seen drama staring William Hurt)

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE THAN WATCH: 25 (92 titles)

Titles include: Yogi Bear, Sex and the City 2, The Tourist, Biutiful (looks too foreign and way too sad), Eat Pray Love and Knight & Day (Cameron Diaz should just not make movies)

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I'VE HEARD OF AND I'M SURE THEY'RE FINE BUT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN: 16 (59 titles)

Titles include: Another Year, Howl, Get Low, Rabbit Hole, Paranormal Activity 2 and Stonewall Uprising.

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I KNOW I'LL SEE...EVENTUALLY: 5 (20 titles)

Titles include: Animal Kingdom, I Love You Phillip Morris, Winter's Bone, Youth in Revolt and Despicable Me.

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I GOTTA SEE!: 4 (15 titles)

Titles include: Burlesque (what? It looks hil-ar-io-us), Kick Ass, Let Me In, The Other Guys, Tron Legacy (looks like a good popcorn flick) and Blue Valentine.

and finally

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES I TOTALLY SAW: 6 (21 titles)

Full list of titles: 127 Hours, Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, Black Swan, The Complete Metropolis, Easy A, Exit Through The Gift Shop, The Fighter, Greenberg, Harry Potter 7: Part 1, Holy Rollers, Inception, Iron Man 2, The Kids Are All Right, The King's Speech, Never Let Me Go, Red Riding Trilogy (you see one, you've seen them all - also this SNL skit sorta explains it all), Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Shutter Island, The Social Network, Tiny Furniture, Toy Story 3, and True Grit.

 -----------

*Yes, I know it only adds up to 99% but I hate remainders*

 -----------

PERCENTAGE OF THE MOVIES I SAW THAT I THOUGHT SUCKED: 5 (1 title - Alice in Wonderland) 

PERCENTAGE OF THE BEST PICTURE NOMINEES I'VE SEEN: 90 (all but Winter's Bone which is sitting on my DVD player)

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES THAT I SAW THAT I THINK SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE: 9.5 (2 titles - Exit Through the Gift Shop, even though I don't think documentaries can be nominated in the Best Picture category and Never Let Me Go)

PERCENTAGE OF MOVIES THAT I SAW THAT FEATURE ANDREW GARFIELD'S ASS: 9.5 (2 titles - the first movie in the Red Riding Trilogy and Never Let Me Go)

PERCENTAGE OF THOSE MOVIES FEATURING ANDREW GARFIELD'S ASS I ENJOYED A LITTLE MORE BECAUSE OF SAID FEATURE: 100

----

And that's it. Tomorrow I'm going to write about my favorite movies of the year that were snubbed or ignored this year by critics or the Academy.

.too late to apologize, I say, as flood waters rise.

WTF Gmail?
After reading my e-mails you suggest this:

Click me! Click me!

?!?!
I don't think I've even
written anything
close
to making any suggest-o-bot
"think" this.

.a river of tiny tears flow from your crocodile eyes.

MTA Conductors,
You are no longer allowed
to announce
"We are stopped momentarily, we'll be moving shortly".
Every two minutes
for twenty minutes.
We AREN'T stopped momentarily.
We WILL NOT be moving shortly.

Liars.

Pants on fire.

.but you're going to cry.

If the MTA
was
at all
effective,
I would offer them
my new slogan
for them:

KEEP THE OY VEYS AWAY: TAKE THE MTA!

But the MTA sucks,
so they can't have it.

.like, "he's my lower half," you laughed.

How come New Yorkers always have to come in and ruin my New York moments?

.with the things that you said.

I discovered today that this

(#f662bf - FYI)

Is the worst color

a web page background could be.

.you were so happy.

I hate running into old co-workers
at the job I had before the one I have now
because,
I sorta
kinda
really hated everyone there
(sans a few of the best people I've ever met).

And today: it happened.

I ran into a not-so-close co-worker.
Who hated me then
(for no reason - I swear!)
and
apparently,
still does.

I could tell because of her fake smile.
Which sort of looked like this:

Sorry to whoever this really is.

I hate small talk.
I hate talking about things I don't want to.
I hate silences.
Ew.

I got off two stops early
walked up the steps
turned around
and waited for the next train.

(and if you read this XX - you know it's true)

.as it goes away.

Mini Snowman!

The son of Giant Snowman

.i'll find the sweetest spot to watch.

Obligatory post about
massive amount of snow.....

Here's a picture of a dog in a car!!!!

.right under the sea.

What? No! Huh?

.i'll sink manhattan.

I love my boyfriend
and I don't think he reads this blog.

With that said,
this photo combines two of my
favorite things:
handsome British men
and Polaroid cameras.

Especially Andrew Garfield
with a SX-70 camera.

Mmmmmm.....

(flip record to side 5B)

I seriously,
I mean seriously,
almost screamed out loud
when I realized I had to buy
a new Unlimited Metrocard
yesterday
and was reminded
of it's $104 cost.

I wanted to punch the ticket machine.
(Alas, I did not)

.come on over here, come on over here.

Was the cutest little old man in New York profiled in the New York Times the other day?

(photo by Chang W. Lee/The New York Times)

Yes! Yes he was.

Subway Sentences 2010

Oh! I almost forgot. Thanks to all the writers and the like making my commute a little more bearable in 2010 (it's a bit smaller than last year considering I was unemployed for a 66% of the year):

• Sloane Crosley's How Did You Get this Number
• Tom McCarthy's C
• Sara Shepard's Pretty Little Liars #1
• Samantha Bee's I Know I Am, But What Are You?
• Sarah Vowell's The Wordy Shipmates
• Sarah Dunant's The Birth of Venus
• David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day (the 3rd time)
• Julian Barnes's England, England
• John D. MacDonald's The House Guests
• Reif Larsen's The Selected Works of T. S. Spivet
• The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2002
• Margo Rabb's Cure for Heartbreak
• Voltaire's Candide
• Dai Sijie's Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
• The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) Teacher's Edition: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction
• Etgar Keret's The Girl on the Fridge
• Clark Wolf's American Cheeses: The Best Regional, Artisan, and Farmhouse Cheeses, Who Makes Them, and Where to Find Them
• Lianna Kong's i am neurotic: (and so are you)
• Sarah Thornton's Seven Days in the Art World

.but the boots back on and run, run.

I watched a girl,
maybe a year or so younger than I,
jump onto the subway track
just a mere 30 seconds before the train arrived,
at Broadway-Layfayette
to retrieve her fallen
Metrocard.

I think this is a more
a statement
on the cost of a ride 
($5,442.98 for a single swipe)
than the hubris
of this girl.

(although she was quite swift in this action and without much hesitation which makes me think this wasn't the first time this had happen to her)

.could be there when you land.

I got a free calendar
at Pearl River
and this was the
image
for the year of the horse.

Oooookay.
Sexy?

.leap and let the jet stream set you down.

It was a little crazy yesterday

at the Polar Bear Club of Coney Island

(raising money for Camp Sunshine)

New Year's Dip.

But the water was fine.

And cold.

And fun!

(yes, I went in - twice!)

.take an atmospheric leap.

11:55pm
December 30th, 2010:
The first fall-on-my-butt-from-the-ice fall of the season.

*golf claps*

*bows to audience*
Thank you.
Thank you.

I'll be here all winter.

.climb to her fingernail and leap, yeah.

Before I share more
stories
from the blizzard,
I wanted to share this:

Last night I went to go see
True Grit
(another great Coen brothers movie - surprise, surprise)
at the AMC near Lincoln Center
(really fun theater)
and there was a preview
for Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon
and right when the title came up
there was a loud noise
from the front
and was simply this:
the sound of man faking a single vomit.

Perfect.

The crowd cheered.
For him,
not Michael Bay.

.to that statue with the dictionary.

Transit Horror Story, Part 1

Just look at this on the MTA website this morning.