Subway Sentences 2009

Thank you to all the books authors who made my crazy and chaotic journeys on the subway worth riding:

• Catharine Arnold's Bedlam: London and Its Mad
• Philip G. Zimbardo's Shyness
• Richard Price's Lush Life
• Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
• Etgar Keret's The Bus Driver who Wanted to be God
• Kevin Wilson's Tunneling to the Center of the Earth
• Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
• David Lloyd & Alan Moore's V for Vendetta
• Anthony Suau's Fear This
• Sarah Vowell's Radio On
• Muriel Barbery's The Elegance of the Hedgehog
• David Kidder & Noah Oppenheim's The Intellectual Devotional
• Megan Hustad's How to Be Useful: A Beginner's Guide to Not Hating Work
• Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake
• Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation
• Anthony Haden-Guest's True Colors: The Real Life of the Art World
• Junot Díaz's The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
• Gary Marcus' Kluge: The Haphazard Construction of the Human Mind
• Jennifer 8 Lee's The Fortune Cookie Chronicles
• Miranda July's No One Belongs Here More Than You
• Tom Wolfe's The Bonfire of the Vanities
• The Waking Dream: Photography's First Century
• Rick Beyer's The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told
• Etgar Keret's The Nimrod Flipout
• The Subway Chronicles
• Jeffrey Ford's The Portrait of Mrs. Charbuque

.of what was around you.

This "article" (I use the term loosely with Gawker posts - they border between news reporting and sensational opinions - which is why I love them) made me laugh out loud and I hope it brings a bit of sunshine in your sad, pathetic life.

.never aware.

The best news story of the month (from the Guardian):

Outrage at Grazia magazine after an intern who was sent out regularly to buy skinny lattes for the beauty desk announced at the end of her stint on the mag that she had in fact been buying them all full-fat ones.

.if you were.

Overheard (on the phone) on the bus
in Brooklyn the other day:

Yeah, you know Edible Arrangements?
Yeah, yeah, it's, like fruit and stuff. Yeah, yeah.
We're getting a really nice one and we're bring in to shabbat.
I know! It'll be really nice!

Classy.
(is that served along side the challah or at dessert)

.a beautiful view.

Every year it's
hilarious
to see how the new
New Years
numbers
make it to Times Square.
(my absolute favorite was a few years ago when it was on the 4/5/6 line - how did it get through the turnstiles?)

And this year is no different.

Of course,
my biggest thought was
Damn,
that guy is wearing shorts?!?!

Wind chill was like 18 yesterday.


PS: Who else loved the girls from Newark last night on the Daily Show?

.oh what.

I'll get in the
swing of things!
Cross my heart.

I'm mostly
obsessed
with this video of and
octopus.

Seriously,
check out how cool it is.

.at the same time.

Kid (okay, like 19/20 yr. old)
next to me on
the train,
"Women are like buses,
they come every 15 minutes"

Take what you want
from that.
I'm still trying to wrap my head
around that.

.to see in all directions.

Hi, I'm still alive.....but this is how I used to feel.

.open our eyes.

Sixth Avenue is the reason why terrorists hate America.

.i wish we could.

Now we know.
A New York minute is 27 seconds.

Got to love WikiAnswers and the
people of Yahoo Answers.

My oh my.

I hope people aren't
seriously asking if there is an
actual difference
in time between a
New York minute
and
a 60 second minute.

.all the buildings.

Bloomberg is (probably) officially going to
win the election,
even if I protest it.
If only I had the ears
of eight million people.
And the money to make them
forget
that it's morally wrong
to change the rules for yourself.

I want to change the rules for
myself too.
I want to go to work
one day a week,
and get paid
twice
what I do now.
Because I say it's a work week.
And because I say I get a raise.

Hooray me!

I made s'mores tonight.
Didn't taste the same,
but still filled my gooey/sweet craving.

(image from the Burns for Mayor site/coalition - more about them is this article as well which has videos as well including one that mentions the sale of Staten Island to New Jersey which is always an option people!)

.and bounce off.

What is a "smaller thirst occasion"?
This is one of the greatest corporate statements ever released.
Ever.
Don't doubt me.

.alleys.

I'm back!
(well, that's nothing new)
Socialist health care for all.
Katie Price for none.

The Rose Lipped Batfish for those who care:

(trip observations and mayoral race comments post debate)

.and bend through.

Yeah, on a bento box kick,
not like I have one
or make them.
Just, you know,
looking at pictures.

And I will always love
Dr. Dean (a great interview in that link)
and he'll always remind me of
Mr. Danson's class.

Well, I'm outy - see you back in the states on the 3rd.

.your name sing.

Don't you think enough
time
has gone by that
we can
stop
blasting Michael Jackson from
our car speakers, eh people?

.they would make.

This was found in the latest catalogue sent to my residence from Urban Outfitters. I mean, this is truly hideous and I can not understand why they would subject me, a common citizens, to this horror. As to the 90s clothing revival: hey, I loved the Courtney Love babydoll floral dress with combat boots with the rest of them, but seriously dressing like this is a great example of why we actually need the fashion police roaming the streets.

And harem pants?!? No. I've actually seen this on people. Normal people. Not just models and hipsters, like every day people who used to wear skinny jeans.

It's Soylent Green-esq madness!

.to march out.

Look who wears purple Chucks!

You know who else loves purple Chucks?
Me!
(high tops, obviously)

MObama just became my patron saint of cool.

.for a marching band.

I guess
everyone
in the city gets a
voter guide
for the primaries next Tuesday,
I got this in the mail:



















This gives me a chance
to do what I've
always
wanted to do,
vote purely on looks!


















Sigh,
I guess I just
can't get the facts.

.wide enough.

Everyone in the art world should
read
this interview with
Charles Saatchi.

Wow.
I didn't know if I was
laughing
with him
or
at him.

But I guess that's his brand of...."genius"?

.my mouth.

*sigh*
I love you John Oliver.

I'll be in your homeland soon,
but not in a
stalk-y way.
Really!

I also have a girl crush
on my hairdresser
(well, I guess my hairdresser,
I've never had my hair cut in New York
and the usual
frequency of me in a
salon chair
is about twice a year...tops)
who did an
amazing job.

My hair is so soft
and I can't stop touching it.
In a weird, creepy way, yes.