.into your heart.

Two thoughts.

1. It's not American Idol; it's the A train. Shut the fuck up.
2. They're making a movie with Simon Pegg about Burk & Hare and Dr. Robert Knox. Awesome!

.sorrow drips.

Really wigged out
by a shooting
two blocks away.

No likey.

.to let the light in.

I went for a walk the
other day -
around the snow covered
no man's land
that is my neighborhood
and came across
several
black squirrels.

Now, I may be
wrong
but I swore I've
never seen black squirrels
outside Ohio
and I didn't think they
lived in New York.
But these had ears
like red squirrels
(which are European)
but were black.

Now, I know most
people
aren't hundred percent sure
where Cherry Street and
Catherine Slip are
but hey,
could be an alternate universe
for all I know.

No, I'm hundred percent sure it is an
alternate universe.

.and blinds.

Oh
my
god!

I have had such a
girl crush/
goner
for Christina Hendricks
(and I've never watched Mad Men in my life)
since getting
this week's NY Mag in my mail box.

She's a fucking
goddess.
Love her.

.i'll pull the curtains.

Everyone on the subway
smelled like
wet dogs.

Trying to decide
if this is better
or worse
than the summer BO
stink.

.shines again.

I just wanted to write a few words about Alexander McQueen. I adored McQueen. I loved almost everything he created and sent down the runway. If you look at my notebook from high school you can see images of his work and below, cross my heart, are some of images I already had saved on my hard drive of his work - to inspire me and my work.


Much has been said about the fashion industry; about size and "reality" of the clothing but I am one of the few people, I think, who doesn't go through fashion magazines or look at runway shows and think, "Gosh she's so thin" or "How silly is that?" I take it for what it is: a show, a fantasy, a piece of art and no one, in my opinion, did that better than McQueen. He could create works of pure imagination and also, wearable, beautiful pieces (I mean, come on, even the First Lady wears his suits).

What I always loved about his work is the way it manipulated the body into something that was sometimes grotesque and went against the body type. In all his work, there is a morbid fascination that cannot be ignored but I think was often mistaken as a f' you to the fashion world. It wasn't at all. McQueen's work is totally the fashion world, what it should be and what it could be. I don't think he should be remembered as a fashion design, but as an artist. In no other designer's clothing is there such vision, darkness, beauty and detail and in very few other contemporary artists are those things either.

I am saddened that we will never see a new McQueen creation - I didn't care for any part of that Fashion Week crap except his work - but I am overwhelmed by his obvious darkness. He took his life the day before his mother's funeral, reportedly unable to bury her. One of last things he wrote online pretty much summed up his work and obviously, the man: From heaven to hell and back again, life is a funny thing. beauty can come from the most strangest of places even the most disgusting places.

I'll miss the artist but always love the art.

Also: some great videos of his magnificent fashion shows can be found on YouTube such as this one and especially this one of his Spring 2005 show.

.but when the sun.

Fuck
this
snowy
slush!

.in my own head.

How did I only just now see this?!

.a hermit.

My favorite two passages from Lianna Kong's i am neurotic (and so are you) - a book which complied weird neuroses from a variety of people:

1. I have to transfer the brain of my old toothbrush to the new one. I do this by holding the heads of the toothbrushes an inch apart and making a buzzing/zapping noise. Then I wobble the new toothbrush to show that it received the old one's brain.

and

2. When shaving I always have to leave a little Hitler mustache. I clean off all the shaving foam and say, "He was a bad man" to the mirror, before shaving off the mustache.

Genius.

.that I live like.

Long Overdue Subway Story #2

This has to be one of my favorite stories of all time. Cross my heart. You'll see why.

Okay, again, I'm on the subway, sitting there reading my book. It's about 7 (I think) and I'm heading to have dinner with someone (I'm totally blanking on whom) but it's definitely not Friday or the weekend because usually the uptown trains at that time are pretty packed with super cool New Yorkers heading out to super cool dinner. Anyways, I'm reading Sarah Thornton's Seven Days in the Art World which I picked up in London this past September. On the UK cover is Maurizio Cattelan's Untitled from 2007 which is essentially a taxidermy horse hanging from the wall (as you can see from the photo on the left - clicking it should get you a larger image). Oh those wacky Italians.

So I'm sitting there reading a book and there's a guy next to me looking at the cover. Now, this has happened before with this book - it's a bit of an odd cover, given - so I think nothing of it. He's a normal guy, maybe 30 or 35. He turns to me and says, "Man, that's a crazy cover." I stop and look at it and politely laugh and say, "Yeah, it's a piece of modern art so yeah, it is pretty crazy." He chuckles and I return to reading and smile to myself.

Maybe a minute later he turns to me again and this time I'm not surprised because I can sense that he has something else to say, he's sort of shifting, you know how you do when you're trying to think of the right thing to say. He turns to me again and says, "Hey, have you seen Avatar?" "Um, no, I haven't", I reply. He gets excited and is pointing to my book, "Man, if you like crazy stuff like that you should see Avatar, it's got tons of crazy stuff like that. Really, you should see Avatar." I smile and says something like, "Yeah, I guess." (But in all honesty, I have no interest in seeing Avatar and know very few people who have seen it and those I know who have thought it was awful and therefor aren't seeing again making its rise to the top of the all-time box office completely complexing to me - seriously, I do not understand it and think something is off. Unless it's just kids dropping acid and seeing it over and over again.....I just answered my question). Then he continues, "Yeah, I mean like, I think it sucks that you have to pay $15 to see it in 3D but it's totally worth it. It's so crazy, crazy like that book cover. I think the movie companies are ripping you off but it's totally worth it." I agree in solidarity that $15 does suck for 3D (but if you saw Coraline in 3D you know it is totally worth it) and stand up to get off the train. No, it's not my stop, but it's Broadway-Lafayette and I needed to transfer to the express anyway. I wish him goodnight and he gives me a cheery way and I leave.

Now, why do I think this story is so great? Hands down, the guy's excitement. I think he must have just seen the movie in theaters and was so fucking blown away that he needed to share it with someone and that someone happened to me. I mean, I didn't want to hear more about it from this complete stranger but I'm sort of glad I was there to be there in his time of amazement about this movie. This guy was so fucking excited I just got excited for him. I don't think I'd have the same reaction but hell, good for him. There is nothing like coming out of the movies feeling totally blown away from what you saw. For me this past year that was A Serious Man, but I think goes to show you the difference between my tastes and those of this guy on the subway (more about that later).

So there you go, long overdue story number two (out of two). Every day is a new.....something.

.what you said.

Long Overdue Subway Story #1

And I know this is incredibly overdue because I remember this happened on the way to meet my boyfriend to go see Bruno, which came out in July 2009 (and he was late and we had to sit in the first row and really, some of the things in that movie you really didn't want to see that close).

I was on the subway, listening to my iPod and sitting across from a girl looking a little bad-ass but I didn't really think much about it. After one stop, at Delancey, the train stopped, doors open...the normal things. Right as that beep goes off, indicating the closing doors, the guy standing up next to the bad-assish girl turns to her and makes a single violent movement at her neck and runs out the door just as the doors closed, sort of like Indian Jones sliding under a closing trap.

For a moment, I seriously had no idea what happened and I actually thought he may have slashed her throat - it was such a quick and violent action I didn't have time to process. The girl, just as shocked, was grabbing her neck desperately. The jackass, in one movement, just yanked her necklace right off and bolted.

The men around her pretty much swarmed around her and one even tried to grab the door before it totally closed to go after the guy. The girl explained the guy stole her necklace but honestly, it was just one of the scariest things I've ever seen. I've never seen anyone mugged and very few times in my life have I seen someone do something so insanely quickly & violently. My heart just broke for this girl - I mean, you wear jewelry almost every day and it's not like your purse, you don't think about someone taking it right off your body.

I felt like such a nothing because by the time I woke up from my frozen shock, she obviously just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to hug her but then realized she was still a bit of a bad-ass girl and didn't seem to be open for hugging. I thought maybe I was crazy for being so upset but Greg agreed and then we watched a fake Austrian fashion reporter try to insert himself in an orgy. Which is really how every good story ends, right?

So yeah, that's my long overdue subway story. Another one tomorrow.....

.and it is true.

.....Hello children. I am alive and well and I know I have disregarded this blog like a cheap whore (and I don't even view this blog as a cheap whore! I see it like a lovable hooker with a heart of gold). I plan on really coming back in full force to this blog where I've been able to express my views and frustrations and love of this city and my life.
.....I think a large part of this blog was an escape from my job and how repetitive it was and it gave me time to reflect on the craziness of modern/post-graduate life (no, I'm not going to sit here and slam my job, that would be unnecessary and unladylike). As you might be able to tell, I don't have a job currently but it's not from a lack of trying. I use to think people who couldn't find jobs were pathetic and just weren't trying enough but after being rejected, constantly, and not being to crack even the most basic of jobs, I understand. I've never thought New York was cut-throat until today when I realize that I'm not just trying to prove myself for a job but trying to make myself distinct from the hundreds (and I mean hundreds if not flat out thousands) of people applying for the same job. Even low paying jobs or service jobs I can't crack. Why hire someone who had a salary which was more than $10/hr when I could grab a kid in collage for super cheap with more experience. Can't blame them. We're all trying to get through this recession/depression (economic? emotional?). And with all the hatred and awfulness in the world, we should be working together instead of against each other. Very few people have it good so why fight them? Being united is the best thing for this craziness known as 2010.
....Even with all this I must say I'm frustrated with my lack of motivation (man, waking up with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and with limited funds - it's very easy to just sit there watching movies all day and not doing anything - it's terrifying) I'm in such a good place emotionally. For awhile I didn't feel like myself. I didn't really say anything or do anything and I felt like a shell of myself; having to force myself to do anything. But now, I can't express it. I have myself back which is more than I could ask for. I'd rather have myself than a job (well, I'd like to have both but it's not a perfect world, is it?). I like seeing people and talking to them more than ever. My only set back is that it is so fucking cold here in New York I'm just going mad (not that the temperature is that cold - it's been averaging 35 degrees for months but between the wind on the water and the gusts coming between the caverns made up of buildings the wind has been painful and I mean that word, painful). It would be much, much better if I could go outside and walk around the park and think and maybe I should have left my job in summer but hey, use what you got, right? I always have the Met. It takes forever to walk through there (and damnit if I wanted to go today but alas, it's closed on Mondays).
...That's all. I think. I look forward to sharing stories (I have two coming up - both waaaaay overdue) and my life even if the audience is one (me). It helps and it feels good, so there. I also found more animals to share (oh yeah).
....So I wish all hello, again. And please, give me a job (ha!).

-Kate

PS: Here's a photo. If life is full of superficial bitches just stand there and enjoy your cupcake - you know you'll always have cupcakes my friend.