.and it is true.
.....Hello children. I am alive and well and I know I have disregarded this blog like a cheap whore (and I don't even view this blog as a cheap whore! I see it like a lovable hooker with a heart of gold). I plan on really coming back in full force to this blog where I've been able to express my views and frustrations and love of this city and my life.
.....I think a large part of this blog was an escape from my job and how repetitive it was and it gave me time to reflect on the craziness of modern/post-graduate life (no, I'm not going to sit here and slam my job, that would be unnecessary and unladylike). As you might be able to tell, I don't have a job currently but it's not from a lack of trying. I use to think people who couldn't find jobs were pathetic and just weren't trying enough but after being rejected, constantly, and not being to crack even the most basic of jobs, I understand. I've never thought New York was cut-throat until today when I realize that I'm not just trying to prove myself for a job but trying to make myself distinct from the hundreds (and I mean hundreds if not flat out thousands) of people applying for the same job. Even low paying jobs or service jobs I can't crack. Why hire someone who had a salary which was more than $10/hr when I could grab a kid in collage for super cheap with more experience. Can't blame them. We're all trying to get through this recession/depression (economic? emotional?). And with all the hatred and awfulness in the world, we should be working together instead of against each other. Very few people have it good so why fight them? Being united is the best thing for this craziness known as 2010.
....Even with all this I must say I'm frustrated with my lack of motivation (man, waking up with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and with limited funds - it's very easy to just sit there watching movies all day and not doing anything - it's terrifying) I'm in such a good place emotionally. For awhile I didn't feel like myself. I didn't really say anything or do anything and I felt like a shell of myself; having to force myself to do anything. But now, I can't express it. I have myself back which is more than I could ask for. I'd rather have myself than a job (well, I'd like to have both but it's not a perfect world, is it?). I like seeing people and talking to them more than ever. My only set back is that it is so fucking cold here in New York I'm just going mad (not that the temperature is that cold - it's been averaging 35 degrees for months but between the wind on the water and the gusts coming between the caverns made up of buildings the wind has been painful and I mean that word, painful). It would be much, much better if I could go outside and walk around the park and think and maybe I should have left my job in summer but hey, use what you got, right? I always have the Met. It takes forever to walk through there (and damnit if I wanted to go today but alas, it's closed on Mondays).
...That's all. I think. I look forward to sharing stories (I have two coming up - both waaaaay overdue) and my life even if the audience is one (me). It helps and it feels good, so there. I also found more animals to share (oh yeah).
....So I wish all hello, again. And please, give me a job (ha!).
-Kate
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