.a hermit.

My favorite two passages from Lianna Kong's i am neurotic (and so are you) - a book which complied weird neuroses from a variety of people:

1. I have to transfer the brain of my old toothbrush to the new one. I do this by holding the heads of the toothbrushes an inch apart and making a buzzing/zapping noise. Then I wobble the new toothbrush to show that it received the old one's brain.

and

2. When shaving I always have to leave a little Hitler mustache. I clean off all the shaving foam and say, "He was a bad man" to the mirror, before shaving off the mustache.

Genius.