.half empty or half full.

Me.
Today.
FYI.

.but while you debate.

Just saw
sex, lies, and videotapes.

Jaw, meet floor.
Awesome.
And I don't even like Steven Soderbergh!

Amazing dialogue.
Loved it.

.in the sound.

Soooo....
Is there a terrible
smelling person
who lives in the E. B'way subway station
and
the station just happens to smell like
bacon
or
is there a person who smells like
urine and bacon simultaneously?

And I've also noticed that the only things
that come of out my
super's apartment
is pot and puppies.

.and there is comfort.

Dear Jackasses,

Your sexual harassment in light of the nice weather is predictable, trite and unwelcome.

-Me

.that leaks.

Yeah! Oscars! Well, not really because this past year really sucked for movies. Sure, I enjoyed a couple, but they were far and few between. I was watching one of my favorite movies, American Splendor, which came out in 2003 and thought, man, indie films just aren't as good. 2003 was a great year for movies. As was 2004. But 2009, blah. Usually I can't wait to see all the Best Picture nominees but alas, not this year. With that said, here's my commentary on the nominees and my picks (this year I'm going with my heart - whoo hoo!):

BEST SHORT DOCUMENTARY/ANIMATION - I have no idea and therefor picked the one with the cutest name, A Matter of Loaf and Death. Awwww.

BEST DOCUMENTARY - I don't even know. And I usually always know. Sigh.

BEST FOREIGN - Again, I usually know, but this year I'm at a loss. Even though the Academy sometimes has odd taste in foreign films (last year Waltz with Bashir lost, seriously?) Um...let's go with the Frenchy!

BEST ANIMATED - I don't think it's fair that one of the nominees, Up, is in this category and Best Picture. That's sort of mean to the other filmmakers, am I right? But I did hear The Fantastic Mr. Fox was great and I really loved Coraline and it's artistic use of 3D (not just things popping in your face). It's Up - did you not cry in the first 10 minutes? Yes, yes you did.

BEST VISUALS/EDITING/CINEMATOGRAPHY/MIXING - In all these techie awards (which I don't understand why they aren't given out at the Techie Oscars for all the behind the scenes people who rarely see daylight - and hilariously always feature a host that is a hot young actress - gotta know your audience) I'm going with The Hurt Locker when possible 'cause fuck James Cameron.

BEST SONG - Randy Newman is back! But will loose to T-Bone Burnett for his Crazy Heart song. Why? Because it's T-Bone Burnett one of the greatest living music producers and singer/writer of one of my favorite songs, Earlier Baghdad (The Bounce). I heard it unplugged on the radio and almost cried because it was so wonderful. Also, his name is T-Bone. Sweeeeet.

BEST MAKE-UP AND COSTUME - I'm not usually good at this sort of thing because I think they all look great. I love costumes....sigh.

BEST ART DIRECTION and SOUNDTRACK - I'm going with my gut and saying Sherlock Holmes because yes I liked the movie but one of the first things I thought was wow, what a great soundtrack and the art direction is spot on. Even if you hate RDJ (how?! why?!) and think the plot is stupid (it isn't) you'll really like the feeling of the entire movie - it's technically very good and should get the recognition it deserves. That and Guy Ritchie survived a marriage to Madonna. Good for you!

BEST SCREENPLAY (ORIGINAL) - Give it to Taratino. He'll give the best speech.....Mother fucker.

BEST SCREENPLAY (ADAPTED) - I love that Nick Horby is nominated. Top 5! Good job. But I freaking loved In the Loop and thought it was one of the most well written, clever scripts in a really long time. The only reason it hasn't done better, I guess, is that it's super, super political and British (the Scottish guy gets pissed at an American because he called him English - my boyfriend and I agreed that most people didn't get it) which I guess turns people off. Yes, I know you have to listen to what they're saying and follow the dialogue and not just look at the pretty blue people. It's soooo hard. Idiots.

BEST DIRECTOR - If Cameron gets this I'll throw something at the TV. Not joking. Kathryn Bigelow will get it because the Academy will looooove themselves for finally giving it to a woman. Honestly, a woman has never won this award and looking back I can't think of any who deserved it. I think people are also thrown off that a woman could direct a war movie and not some rom-com or Beaches type thing. Yes, all us woman like to do it watch weepy movies.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR AND ACTRESS - Mo'Nique (I loath stupid spellings of names. LOATH it) and Waltz. Duh. Although Woody Fucking Harrelson (don't get it. Rent Zombieland) is awesome and I would like to have a drink with him (Cheers? Cheers? Anyone? Nevermind).

BEST ACTOR - Again, duh. The Dude. The Dude for President/Leader of the Universe. Jeff Bridges is one of the coolest people on the planet and will be in Tron 2. Seriously. He's 60 and will be in Tron 2. Awesome.

BEST ACTRESS (breaking it down):

• Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side) - Sorry Mom but fuck Sandra Bullock. Seriously. I'm not even kidding when I say she's in some of the most mediocre (if not awful) movies of the last 15 years and when the Blind Side ads came out saying she'd be nominated for an Oscar we all laughed and laughed because it's Saundra Bullock. Watching her try to be serious (Infamous, Crash, etc.) is painful. Cross my heart painful. Yes, she's very sweet and sometimes says funny things but no, no, no. She's like Julia Roberts - everyone loves her but me and I'm left standing there thinking, I just don't get it. But she might get it because in the last few years the Academy has decided to give it to pretty, popular actresses who make one okay, over dramatic movie out of a career of crap (ie: Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Helen Hun, Gwyneth Paltrow and to a lesser extent Reese Witherspoon - who was in Election so I can't hate her)
  
• Helen Mirren (The Last Station) - The What Station? Huh? Was this movie released in more than two theaters?
• Carey Mulligan (An Education) - Winner. Yep, I know, I'm going for the unknown. I think she'll pull an Adrien Brody and upset all the more established actors. She'll also uphold the time honored tradition of the next movie the Best Actress winner is in will suck by appearing in Wall Street 2 (no, I'm not making that up). She's also elegant and a cutie and I generally like her even if she's dating Shia LaBeouf (when did he stop appearing in fun indie movies - ie: The Battle of Shaker Heights - and become a dick? I would like to know the exact moment. Signing the Transformers contract? Yes, that has to be it)
  
• Gabourey Sidibe (Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire) - Have you heard this girl speak? She's is one of the funniest, most well spoken actresses I've heard. Her smile makes me happy. I would love to see her win...but she won't.
• Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia) - Do you think she's tired on being nominated? I do. She wasn't even paying attention when they were reading her name at the Golden Globes. She was reading something with her husband. Ha! If Mulligan don't get it I think Streep will. She's likable and a great actress who has proven she can do any role.

(and finally) BEST PICTURE (breaking it down, again) (PS: I dig the ten movies idea but it's a shame it started up in a year that sucked for movies)

• Avatar - Boo.
  
• The Blind Side - Bleh.
  
• District 9 - Dorks rejoice!
• An Education - Nope.
• The Hurt Locker - Yep.
• Inglorious Basterds - Ineligible for spelling error.
• Precious - Spent too much time crying - no one actually saw the movie
• A Serious Man - Not a snowballs chance in hell (see below)
  
• Up - Too cute.
  
• Up in the Air - Boring.

Anyone who has half a brain and isn't blind/deaf/dumb/can't-play-a-mean-pinball knows that A Serious Man was the best movie last year. Hands down. Like, nothing came close to it. Well written, great, natural acting, beautifully shot and a subtle, intelligent script with a hell of an ending. Coen brothers=gods. Ends of story.
RECAP:
In the Loop and Serious Man - Best movies of 2009
Up - Cute and sad.
Where the Wild Things Are - NO NOMINATIONS!?!?
Avatar - Blow me.
Hosts - Eh.
RDJ - future husband.
Carey Mulligan - get new boyfriend.
Best Cameo in a Motion Picture - Zombieland

Well, that's it.Thanks for sticking with this craziness. I'll be chowing down on some pizza leftovers and veggie chili in Baltimore. See you next week to report on the awesomeness known as jury duty. Ta kids!



(good luck goober!)

.just like a faucet.

I. Hate. Babies. In. Bars.
Hate it.
Not only because I
feel
the need to be on my
best behavior
(I'm in a bar drinking - talking loudly, cursing and bumping into things is part of the process even thought I should note that I rarely get like this, sans the talking loudly but I mean, come on, it's a bar with crappy music on full blast)
but because,
oh, I don't know,
babies shouldn't be bars.

No one under 21 should
be in bars.
I thought this was a
basic understanding of
modern existence.

I was at Floyd on Atlantic Avenue
5ish - still early
and Hipster Mom and Hipster Dad
(and Hipster Uncle/Friend or something)
come in with
Lil' Hip (aged 18ish-months - I'm pretty bad at that sort of thing).
Mom, Dad and Uncle/Friend have their
beers
as Lil' is standing/leaning on a table
(like little baby humans do 'cause they have no balance)
reaching to play with
lit candle on table
with the rest of the
crew
yap and yap about whatever.

Um, hello?
Your life ended when you got
knocked up.
I thought this was
another
fact of human existence.
Life ends for 18 years.
Get
a
damn
sitter.

Shell out the whopping 20 bucks
to have some tween
sit your kid.

You live in Park Slope
with those $1k strollers
you have the cash.

Read this article that still haunts me today
and you'll realize everything that is
wrong
with parenting today.
I am so not looking forward to
seeing what these kids are like
in 15/16 years.

(photo from here, but I'm not sure where it originated)

.through a pinhole.

I think
I cut more
hair
off my head than
there were inches of
snowfall
last week.

Ready for spring,
I guess.

.into your heart.

Two thoughts.

1. It's not American Idol; it's the A train. Shut the fuck up.
2. They're making a movie with Simon Pegg about Burk & Hare and Dr. Robert Knox. Awesome!

.sorrow drips.

Really wigged out
by a shooting
two blocks away.

No likey.

.to let the light in.

I went for a walk the
other day -
around the snow covered
no man's land
that is my neighborhood
and came across
several
black squirrels.

Now, I may be
wrong
but I swore I've
never seen black squirrels
outside Ohio
and I didn't think they
lived in New York.
But these had ears
like red squirrels
(which are European)
but were black.

Now, I know most
people
aren't hundred percent sure
where Cherry Street and
Catherine Slip are
but hey,
could be an alternate universe
for all I know.

No, I'm hundred percent sure it is an
alternate universe.

.and blinds.

Oh
my
god!

I have had such a
girl crush/
goner
for Christina Hendricks
(and I've never watched Mad Men in my life)
since getting
this week's NY Mag in my mail box.

She's a fucking
goddess.
Love her.

.i'll pull the curtains.

Everyone on the subway
smelled like
wet dogs.

Trying to decide
if this is better
or worse
than the summer BO
stink.

.shines again.

I just wanted to write a few words about Alexander McQueen. I adored McQueen. I loved almost everything he created and sent down the runway. If you look at my notebook from high school you can see images of his work and below, cross my heart, are some of images I already had saved on my hard drive of his work - to inspire me and my work.


Much has been said about the fashion industry; about size and "reality" of the clothing but I am one of the few people, I think, who doesn't go through fashion magazines or look at runway shows and think, "Gosh she's so thin" or "How silly is that?" I take it for what it is: a show, a fantasy, a piece of art and no one, in my opinion, did that better than McQueen. He could create works of pure imagination and also, wearable, beautiful pieces (I mean, come on, even the First Lady wears his suits).

What I always loved about his work is the way it manipulated the body into something that was sometimes grotesque and went against the body type. In all his work, there is a morbid fascination that cannot be ignored but I think was often mistaken as a f' you to the fashion world. It wasn't at all. McQueen's work is totally the fashion world, what it should be and what it could be. I don't think he should be remembered as a fashion design, but as an artist. In no other designer's clothing is there such vision, darkness, beauty and detail and in very few other contemporary artists are those things either.

I am saddened that we will never see a new McQueen creation - I didn't care for any part of that Fashion Week crap except his work - but I am overwhelmed by his obvious darkness. He took his life the day before his mother's funeral, reportedly unable to bury her. One of last things he wrote online pretty much summed up his work and obviously, the man: From heaven to hell and back again, life is a funny thing. beauty can come from the most strangest of places even the most disgusting places.

I'll miss the artist but always love the art.

Also: some great videos of his magnificent fashion shows can be found on YouTube such as this one and especially this one of his Spring 2005 show.

.but when the sun.

Fuck
this
snowy
slush!

.in my own head.

How did I only just now see this?!

.a hermit.

My favorite two passages from Lianna Kong's i am neurotic (and so are you) - a book which complied weird neuroses from a variety of people:

1. I have to transfer the brain of my old toothbrush to the new one. I do this by holding the heads of the toothbrushes an inch apart and making a buzzing/zapping noise. Then I wobble the new toothbrush to show that it received the old one's brain.

and

2. When shaving I always have to leave a little Hitler mustache. I clean off all the shaving foam and say, "He was a bad man" to the mirror, before shaving off the mustache.

Genius.

.that I live like.

Long Overdue Subway Story #2

This has to be one of my favorite stories of all time. Cross my heart. You'll see why.

Okay, again, I'm on the subway, sitting there reading my book. It's about 7 (I think) and I'm heading to have dinner with someone (I'm totally blanking on whom) but it's definitely not Friday or the weekend because usually the uptown trains at that time are pretty packed with super cool New Yorkers heading out to super cool dinner. Anyways, I'm reading Sarah Thornton's Seven Days in the Art World which I picked up in London this past September. On the UK cover is Maurizio Cattelan's Untitled from 2007 which is essentially a taxidermy horse hanging from the wall (as you can see from the photo on the left - clicking it should get you a larger image). Oh those wacky Italians.

So I'm sitting there reading a book and there's a guy next to me looking at the cover. Now, this has happened before with this book - it's a bit of an odd cover, given - so I think nothing of it. He's a normal guy, maybe 30 or 35. He turns to me and says, "Man, that's a crazy cover." I stop and look at it and politely laugh and say, "Yeah, it's a piece of modern art so yeah, it is pretty crazy." He chuckles and I return to reading and smile to myself.

Maybe a minute later he turns to me again and this time I'm not surprised because I can sense that he has something else to say, he's sort of shifting, you know how you do when you're trying to think of the right thing to say. He turns to me again and says, "Hey, have you seen Avatar?" "Um, no, I haven't", I reply. He gets excited and is pointing to my book, "Man, if you like crazy stuff like that you should see Avatar, it's got tons of crazy stuff like that. Really, you should see Avatar." I smile and says something like, "Yeah, I guess." (But in all honesty, I have no interest in seeing Avatar and know very few people who have seen it and those I know who have thought it was awful and therefor aren't seeing again making its rise to the top of the all-time box office completely complexing to me - seriously, I do not understand it and think something is off. Unless it's just kids dropping acid and seeing it over and over again.....I just answered my question). Then he continues, "Yeah, I mean like, I think it sucks that you have to pay $15 to see it in 3D but it's totally worth it. It's so crazy, crazy like that book cover. I think the movie companies are ripping you off but it's totally worth it." I agree in solidarity that $15 does suck for 3D (but if you saw Coraline in 3D you know it is totally worth it) and stand up to get off the train. No, it's not my stop, but it's Broadway-Lafayette and I needed to transfer to the express anyway. I wish him goodnight and he gives me a cheery way and I leave.

Now, why do I think this story is so great? Hands down, the guy's excitement. I think he must have just seen the movie in theaters and was so fucking blown away that he needed to share it with someone and that someone happened to me. I mean, I didn't want to hear more about it from this complete stranger but I'm sort of glad I was there to be there in his time of amazement about this movie. This guy was so fucking excited I just got excited for him. I don't think I'd have the same reaction but hell, good for him. There is nothing like coming out of the movies feeling totally blown away from what you saw. For me this past year that was A Serious Man, but I think goes to show you the difference between my tastes and those of this guy on the subway (more about that later).

So there you go, long overdue story number two (out of two). Every day is a new.....something.

.what you said.

Long Overdue Subway Story #1

And I know this is incredibly overdue because I remember this happened on the way to meet my boyfriend to go see Bruno, which came out in July 2009 (and he was late and we had to sit in the first row and really, some of the things in that movie you really didn't want to see that close).

I was on the subway, listening to my iPod and sitting across from a girl looking a little bad-ass but I didn't really think much about it. After one stop, at Delancey, the train stopped, doors open...the normal things. Right as that beep goes off, indicating the closing doors, the guy standing up next to the bad-assish girl turns to her and makes a single violent movement at her neck and runs out the door just as the doors closed, sort of like Indian Jones sliding under a closing trap.

For a moment, I seriously had no idea what happened and I actually thought he may have slashed her throat - it was such a quick and violent action I didn't have time to process. The girl, just as shocked, was grabbing her neck desperately. The jackass, in one movement, just yanked her necklace right off and bolted.

The men around her pretty much swarmed around her and one even tried to grab the door before it totally closed to go after the guy. The girl explained the guy stole her necklace but honestly, it was just one of the scariest things I've ever seen. I've never seen anyone mugged and very few times in my life have I seen someone do something so insanely quickly & violently. My heart just broke for this girl - I mean, you wear jewelry almost every day and it's not like your purse, you don't think about someone taking it right off your body.

I felt like such a nothing because by the time I woke up from my frozen shock, she obviously just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to hug her but then realized she was still a bit of a bad-ass girl and didn't seem to be open for hugging. I thought maybe I was crazy for being so upset but Greg agreed and then we watched a fake Austrian fashion reporter try to insert himself in an orgy. Which is really how every good story ends, right?

So yeah, that's my long overdue subway story. Another one tomorrow.....

.and it is true.

.....Hello children. I am alive and well and I know I have disregarded this blog like a cheap whore (and I don't even view this blog as a cheap whore! I see it like a lovable hooker with a heart of gold). I plan on really coming back in full force to this blog where I've been able to express my views and frustrations and love of this city and my life.
.....I think a large part of this blog was an escape from my job and how repetitive it was and it gave me time to reflect on the craziness of modern/post-graduate life (no, I'm not going to sit here and slam my job, that would be unnecessary and unladylike). As you might be able to tell, I don't have a job currently but it's not from a lack of trying. I use to think people who couldn't find jobs were pathetic and just weren't trying enough but after being rejected, constantly, and not being to crack even the most basic of jobs, I understand. I've never thought New York was cut-throat until today when I realize that I'm not just trying to prove myself for a job but trying to make myself distinct from the hundreds (and I mean hundreds if not flat out thousands) of people applying for the same job. Even low paying jobs or service jobs I can't crack. Why hire someone who had a salary which was more than $10/hr when I could grab a kid in collage for super cheap with more experience. Can't blame them. We're all trying to get through this recession/depression (economic? emotional?). And with all the hatred and awfulness in the world, we should be working together instead of against each other. Very few people have it good so why fight them? Being united is the best thing for this craziness known as 2010.
....Even with all this I must say I'm frustrated with my lack of motivation (man, waking up with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and with limited funds - it's very easy to just sit there watching movies all day and not doing anything - it's terrifying) I'm in such a good place emotionally. For awhile I didn't feel like myself. I didn't really say anything or do anything and I felt like a shell of myself; having to force myself to do anything. But now, I can't express it. I have myself back which is more than I could ask for. I'd rather have myself than a job (well, I'd like to have both but it's not a perfect world, is it?). I like seeing people and talking to them more than ever. My only set back is that it is so fucking cold here in New York I'm just going mad (not that the temperature is that cold - it's been averaging 35 degrees for months but between the wind on the water and the gusts coming between the caverns made up of buildings the wind has been painful and I mean that word, painful). It would be much, much better if I could go outside and walk around the park and think and maybe I should have left my job in summer but hey, use what you got, right? I always have the Met. It takes forever to walk through there (and damnit if I wanted to go today but alas, it's closed on Mondays).
...That's all. I think. I look forward to sharing stories (I have two coming up - both waaaaay overdue) and my life even if the audience is one (me). It helps and it feels good, so there. I also found more animals to share (oh yeah).
....So I wish all hello, again. And please, give me a job (ha!).

-Kate

PS: Here's a photo. If life is full of superficial bitches just stand there and enjoy your cupcake - you know you'll always have cupcakes my friend.

Subway Sentences 2009

Thank you to all the books authors who made my crazy and chaotic journeys on the subway worth riding:

• Catharine Arnold's Bedlam: London and Its Mad
• Philip G. Zimbardo's Shyness
• Richard Price's Lush Life
• Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
• Etgar Keret's The Bus Driver who Wanted to be God
• Kevin Wilson's Tunneling to the Center of the Earth
• Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
• David Lloyd & Alan Moore's V for Vendetta
• Anthony Suau's Fear This
• Sarah Vowell's Radio On
• Muriel Barbery's The Elegance of the Hedgehog
• David Kidder & Noah Oppenheim's The Intellectual Devotional
• Megan Hustad's How to Be Useful: A Beginner's Guide to Not Hating Work
• Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake
• Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation
• Anthony Haden-Guest's True Colors: The Real Life of the Art World
• Junot Díaz's The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
• Gary Marcus' Kluge: The Haphazard Construction of the Human Mind
• Jennifer 8 Lee's The Fortune Cookie Chronicles
• Miranda July's No One Belongs Here More Than You
• Tom Wolfe's The Bonfire of the Vanities
• The Waking Dream: Photography's First Century
• Rick Beyer's The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told
• Etgar Keret's The Nimrod Flipout
• The Subway Chronicles
• Jeffrey Ford's The Portrait of Mrs. Charbuque