.filled with.

Too lazy to write, so here are two links:
1. No context - here we go.
2. Fun with taxes.

(holiday spirit)

Happy Holidays!
(slacking on the posts to dance like Charlie Brown with my favorite family in the world)

.here's room 115.

Right now,
in my life
at this very moment
I'd rather be thought of stupid
than not at all.
I'd rather be though of negatively
than plain.

it's the truth right now,
at this very moment.

.chelsea girls.

Tonight,
on the subway (as many stories start),
sans books
(I forgot it!)
I sat there with a little Spanish speaking girl
a mother and daughter chatting in Chinese
and a couple (slightly) arguing in
Hebrew.

All speaking at the
same time
and all with quite veracity.

It was glorious in it's chaos.

(The Tower of Babel by Pieter Brueghel the Elder - wiki him, you totally know his work. Okay maybe not, I forget not everyone has had extensive art history training)

.here they come now.

If it wasn't for
the weather,
I'd wish that it was Christmastime
all year round in
New York
('cause we do it bigger and badder than the rest of you - booyah!)

(the lights in) Central Park
the snow
the decorations at the Plaza
(the total lack of anything Christmas related in my Jewish/Chinese neighborhood)
the ice rinks
Dyker Heights (see 34th Street in Hampden, Baltimore)
even Macy's red and white decor and
window displays
(notice shopping isn't including in that)

it's seriously,
and oddly,
calming.
it's the
one time
when it feels good to be
alone
in the city
(which doesn't seem so big after all)

.see them run now.

Just thought I'd pimp my sister from another mistress' store in NC (seriously, the best place in the world) called Edge of Urge. The owner made this video with their designs and such:


Check out their site!

.here they come now.

Hi.
still here,
still sort of being a
boring person.

Should be doing...something
but I've been spending
spare time watching
Skins.
(well, all my spare time for the last four weeks)
So addictive.
So good.

Yeah, I'm going to bed.
I slept through my alarm
this morning.
Spent 10 minutes in a
panic not doing
anything.

ZzzzzzZZ.

.she can uncoil.

I'm just going to go ahead and answer the questions of my life:

1. It's urine.
2. No, working in publishing/arts isn't particularly interesting
3. I don't want to tell you how much I pay in rent; I don't believe that's any of your fucking business.
4. Again, see my post on November 1st - I DON'T EAT A TON OF CHINESE FOOD.
5. Yes, yes I do.
6. Sean Penn was good but I wasn't too crazy about the movie itself
7. 23
8. Take the A, C or E to 34th Street.
9. No, I'm not getting a dog.
10. I haven't read it yet! But I'm really excited to!
11. What do I do in the city? I don't know, live.
12. I don't know, everything.
13. Yeah, I hate him too.

.you wonder if.

Dear Mr. Brinton, who lives on Brokeback Lane in Dyke, VA:

You make my life just a little bit brighter.

Love,
Me

.up in foil.

I don't like my subway book.
I won't read it anymore.
I feel bad for rejecting it.
But I feel good about not being tied down by it.

This makes sense, right?

.bridgets all wrapped.

From the New York Times:

Breaking News 12:27 PM ET: It’s Official: U.S. Economy in Recession, Government Says

.make you sick.

My letter to Victoria's Secret as of November 22nd, 2008:

FIRE YOUR RETOUCHER!!

(click the image to see it at full size)
In reguards to the photo on the left: Skinny is popular, obviously, in fashion but it is a general rule of thumb that ribs should not be seen and muscle definition should actually make scene. Also, usually, people shopping through a lingerie catalogue want to see boobs that don't look alien. It just sells the product better.

Seriously, at a company like Victoria's Secret this should not be happening. They have a lot of money and unless they hired a high schooler on a deadline of two days to retouch the entire catalogue, this should not be happening. It is insanely unprofessional and really simple mistakes. Jeez, hire me! I can do this!

.it's enough to.

Oh!
And
god
fucking damnit
if the DMV
didn't spell my
name
wrong!

Two A's
One E.

After awhile, I sometimes forget how my name is actually spelled. This just shows you how often it is misspelled. *cries* It's not that hard.

.five four six.

Five items on the menu today:
1) Finally, some good news for Lower Manhattan.
2) This is a 59 page report of things getting out of hand
3) Maybe the stock market is in the Bahamas and playing limbo (how low can you go?)
4) I'm trying to figure out the appeal of Twilight (mostly because I know I would have been absolutely obsessed with it in high school - I mean, I would have been at the midnight screening and pretending not to care) and all I really needed was this line from the New York Times (I shit you not): this carefully faithful adaptation traces the sighs and whispers, the shy glances and furious glares of two unlikely teenage lovers who fall into each other’s pale, pale arms amid swirling hormones, raging instincts, high school dramas and oh-so-confusing feelings, like, OMG he’s SO HOT!! Does he like ME?? Will he KILL me??? I don’t CARE!!! :)
5) I freakin' LOVED the Yip Yip Martians.

.here's room.

I am so glad
that I am alive,
that this happened in my lifetime
to see...

THE GREATEST NEW YORK POST COVER, EVER!

(flip record to side 3B)

My head
almost
exploded yesterday when I
first heard about
these "changes" to the MTA/subway.
must
control...
kill!

Honestly,
I am never on the G, M, Z or W trains
(well, rarely)
but this seriously
fucks so many people.
You don't know how
much
I hate transfers and this forces people
to transfer trains more and more.

With a transfer, you wait for a train
(and with service being cut, it also means longer waits)
get on,
it's packed,
you get off and wait for another chunk
of ridiculous time
get on the train
it's packed.
Repeat.
I go out of my way just to not transfer.
I know most stops on the F
by heart
because I hate to transfer.

Oh sorry, buddy, I can't visit you
you live off the 2.

Remember, earlier this year
the MTA budgeted $700 per employee to replace
their trendy, beautiful vests.

What
the
fuck
?
!

Who runs this show?
Seriously, they need to be fired.
I'll be put in charge.
I can do this up.
What do you think?

(photo from NYTimes)

.and pull up your socks.

(from last week)
I spent my morning at the DMV.
First waiting
outside Macy's
to get in the DMV
then in line
then realizing it was
the wrong line
then waiting in another line
then being helped by someone who should
have been in a hospital
or taking better mediciation for his
anger issues
(the place has been open 20 minutes, how can you be so upset?)
then a photo
then waiting on a bench,
waiting on a number system
that didn't make any sense.
then stood there with a girl chatting &
gossiping away
then I gave them $9.50
got a slip
and walked away.
got to work on time.

it wasn't that bad at all,
just,
all DMVs are depressing.
cold
the same signs in each.
the same signs that no one reads
(which is why I had to go back to the DMV in the first place - I didn't see you needed the physical SS card. Which I, of course, lost. I did this same waiting and complex number process at the social security offices in the East Village *shudders* God that place is just evil and the large portrait of George Bush didn't help)
and always that one person
freaking out
over nothing.

not as bad as Baltimore though
but, come on, that's like adding
"in your pants" to all
Chinese fortunes,
it applies every time.

.c’mon honey.

I'm going to share this mostly because I'm so frustrated with my health care and New York doctors....

For a medication I'm about to go on, I have to sign a paper saying I will not get pregnant. It's a booklet larger than the Pennsylvania driving license manual. The iPledge: Committed to Pregnancy Prevention kit (doesn't it sound like something that comes with a chastity ring). Not only do you have to sign a form saying you won't get pregnant, but you have to go on two different forms of birth control. Not one, but two. Along with blood tests, this is all adding up to an extra $150 a month.

BUT

The doctor is explaining this to me and this is what she said:

"It can be any two methods of birth control, you know. Like, abstinence, of course or condoms and the pill, or vaginal condoms and a ring, or the pill and...oh, what do you call it...oh yeah, you can use the pill and spermicide, or you can use condoms and abstinence, or a condom and a diaphragm. Just make sure you're using two."

Good idea. Glad you spent all those years in school. Or, the idea presented by my mother, Plan B and abortion!
Sorry, shouldn't be joking. Wait, yes, yes I should. My blog, I can do whatever the hell I want.

.you never can tell.

I helped wash a cat today.
Wash as in taking a large cooler, filling it with water, putting on gloves, dunking the cat in and lathering him up.
Our office is dirty and so is the long-haired office cat.
I've never seen anything so cute and sad at the same time.
I thought of doing it to Inky
then I realized I enjoy my life and my eyesight.


I felt like sharing that since the last thing wasn't so nice/fun. Washing a cat, actually fun.

(in all seriousness)

Walking to work I was a little cranky because I really wanted to stay in bed but I was really thrown off because someone did the bike-ass-grab on me on the way to work. A lot of people at work ride bikes and I totally thought it was someone at work messing with me when I realized that um, I don't know this person.

So, seriously, as a heads up. Guy on crappy bike, riding around West Chelsea. 35-40 year old black guy with a big puffy jacket and black, beat up beenie. Has bags under his eyes. Snap a pic if you can.

Luckily, I've made friends with the construction workers next to my building and have them ready to attack if they see him again.

.i swear.

Since I'm home sick today and have been receiving endless catalogs of holiday crap I thought I'd take the time to compile my favorites items for sale. Items that have no redeeming qualities and should not exist (so much so that I'm not even including links to them):

1. The Personalized Branding Iron
Do you get one for everybody you might be cooking for as to indicate the owner of said steaks? Can you brand other things like chicken, pork, or Mr. Bojangles?

--------------------

2. The Pizza Pro
I honestly cannot comprehend how someone might find it so difficult to use a pizza cutter and spatula/fork to cut a pizza slice and put it on your plate. Maybe they're like safety scissors and it prevents special people from making special boo-boos. Maybe I'm too stupid to welcome this great technological breakthrough into my life. I shall live the rest of my life with my cobweb filled record collections and my Philco 90.

--------------------

3. The Slanket
Sadly Forbes decided the inventor of this product was some sort of "genius" for being lazy and not paying his heating bills or buying a sweatshirt (it cramps my style, yo). Because there is nothing sexier than curling up at night with the one you love in a giant poncho. Or anything manlier than going to a, let's say, Eagles game, with your beer and your Slanket. "That was a great play...hhhhey Bob, what'ja got there?" "Oh this! This is my Slanket" "Wow Bob, I'm sorry I missed that great touchdown. Say, does it come in green?" "Hahaha, yes Joe, it sure does"

--------------------

4. Chi Chi Chihuahua Figurine
I know exactly the type of person who owns this. They live in my hometown and their home smells like mothballs, cheap potpourri and cat litter (as the tchockie's plot their owner's doom).

--------------------

5. This Toilet Seat Cover Set
After laughing for about 10 minutes, I got worried that someone thought this was a good idea. I wonder if the person who designed it is like, "Damn! I'm so proud to have something I made out there and on the market" or do you think it's a fat guy smoking cigars in a basement of the Chinese factory?

--------------------

6. 100 Storybooks on DVD
Mo Rocca is great. I think he is just so smart and funny - I love listening to him on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me and watching his commentary on Sunday Morning. But it's when he said (on some commentary thing) that "Reading Rainbow taught kids that the only way to read is by watching TV because it's just not as good in book form" is when I really fell in love with him (yes I know he's totally gay!). Seriously, JUST READ TO YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN! Pick up a book, look at the words, pronounce them, done!

--------------------

7. Electric Paper Plane Launcher
What's educational about this? Oh, I know, it teaches children to use even less muscle and depend on technology and gizmos for everything. It's being sold at Urban Outfitters indicating it as an "ironic" item but I still just find it so, so sad.

Of course, going through this all almost guarantees that my father will inevitably be giving me one of these items for my birthday or Christmas. So, thanks Dad, in advance.

.go all the way.

New F trains are coming?!
Like the R, 6 & L trains.
No more ugly colors.
Less sitting room.
Less places to hold onto.
Computerized stop indicator.
Automatic voice!
Stand clear of the closing doors please
(which my cousin could imitate perfectly by the age of 8)
No more of that one conductor
on my morning commute who
says DeLANNNNcy
in the most nasalized voice ever.
Or the one who sounds like he
swallowed a bale of hay and
yells
"stand clear of the door!!!!!!"
when there are only like 10 people on the train.

*wipes forhead*

I am so looking
forward
to less smells
and cleaner
cars.
Sorry to those people
who
LOVE the old Times Square
and will hate the less
"gritty"
cars. Get over it.
You overly nostalgic,
crassholes.
If all apartments in the city
were cockroach-free
you'd complain about that too.
live under the BQE if you miss
that crap so much.

.is a beauty.

I don't understand my neighbors.
There,
I said it.
I just don't get them.

First, the mother who does
nothing
but yell
at her "quiet as a mouse" son.

Second, the Italian models
(well, I don't know if they are models but they smoke a lot of pot, have odd hours and are very thin and pretty).
There was some confusion
of who actually
lived there,
a rotating door of random people.
And all yesterday they watched
Lord of the Rings
on the highest volume.

AND THIRD, that new older Chinese couple.
What are you cooking?!
It smells awful!
And at all times!
All times.
Stop it.
I have to
cover my nose
when I walk by
and try not to vomit in the hallway.
Cause, you know, you don't want to be
that neighbor.
Then they had a fight this morning,
I hear a pan thunk
and then silence.

Now I really need to avoid them.

.the guy in the dress.

Where and how I celebrated Tuesday night (and also sitting there shocked, not shown):

(thanks Greg!)

.welfare hotel.

It's still real.
It's real!

Then Bloomberg says You'll be paying more taxes!
Then Paterson says We're cutting necessary programs!

And I want
to hit
my head
against the table
just
a
little
more....

.in front of that.

Our new First Family!

I'm afraid someone will pinch me,
and it'll all be over.

I can't think about it.
I can't wrap my head around it.
It's real.
I saw it.
It's real.

The celebration, the crying, the hugging.
In the streets, with strangers and with friends.
I've never seen before.

Manhattan: 85% Obama
Brooklyn: 79% Obama
Queens: 74% Obama
Bronx: 88% Obama (highest in the state)
Staten Island: 52% McCain (seriously?!)

2,329,153 in the city of New York (pop. 8,274,527) voted yesterday.
(some waiting in line for over 3 hours!)

Sweet!

.well he's out.

I'm a jumble
of nerves.

I can't concentrate.

I'm nervous.
I'm excited.
I'm worried.
I'm proud.
I'm ready!

*collapses at desk in exhaustion*

.in the sweater's off duty.

I don't think Michael Bloomberg is a bad man. I don't think he's necessarily a bad mayor. Is he the best? No. Actually, thinking back and reading up on my New York history, none of them have been that great. Sure, they've all had areas that they improved on, but usually at the expense of others.

Those not in New York might not realize it's a huge topic here but nobody here is really talking about it. Mostly because it arises so much passion on each side that no one wants to alienate their friends, neighbors, relatives, etc. The weirdest part, at least to me, is that it doesn't cut down party lines, or socio-economical lines or race lines or anything - it's like this new uncharted territory. Although New Yorkers have voted against it....twice, this time is apparently different. Well, not really. Just Bloomberg saying it's not that he wants to stay, it's that we need him to stay. We do?

To a city that is home to 8 million people his most well known "achievements" have been banning smoking mostly everywhere, encouraging recycling and bicycling, and banning trans fats. A city of 8 million! This is stuff that works in a commune on a farm in Vermont - not New York. Sure, I think they're sort of cool - that he's trying to make New York a more healthy and eco-friendly city but imposing taxes that forces addicted smokers to cough up (pun!) $10 a pack is not helping anyone - it's making it a government run state similar to some sort of dystopian. Have you seen how expensive those drugs to help you quit are?!? Banning trans fats is sort of stupid. I know you can educate people on this stuff and there is just so much an advertising campaign can accomplish but it just seems...wrong to force this down our throats (pun #2!).

At first I didn't care what each representative in the city thought of term limits because I honestly thought that it would go to vote. That maybe it would make it on the ballot for this Tuesday. But it didn't. This morning, it was passed; allowing Bloomberg to run again. I guess it would be a good time for people to come against it and vote against him when the time comes. But they won't. Each of the prospective candidates that would have run next year are on the city council and not one of them would go up against Bloomberg. You'd have to be an idiot and say goodbye to your future career in New York politics. So next year, Bloomberg will invest in millions to "campaign" and plead with us why it's so important for him to stay in office. He will win and will “lead” this city for another term.

I'm against changing the rules for yourself (I’d like to no longer pay taxes, I’ll write that down, thanks!) I'm against not asking the people. I'm against forcing those people between a rock and hard place. I'm against three term mayors. I'm against blatant disrespect for the rules (mmm...what other powerful American politican did this and has yet to get in trouble...mmmm).

In the years since he's been mayor (and yeah I haven't been here even half of it) rents and the cost of living has soared but, yes, crime rates have declined (jeez, I come from Baltimore, comparatively, they're practically non-existent). To me, and I think most people, those are to two most important issues to a New Yorker. Shelter and protection. The cost of living in New York is the highest in the United States and the 22nd in the world (Moscow is oddly, at least to me, the most expensive). Rent in most places this year has slightly gone down but the cost of a Harlem (the cheapest place to live in Manhattan) studio per month is $1,278.

The average person in the United States spends 1/4 of their income on housing. In New York it's been estimated at 3/4. That person in Harlem who has to pay let's say about $3,800 a year in basic utilities and services (heating, AC, cable/internet/phone, MTA – to get to their job) would have to make ~$19k a year just to cover their cost of living. In the average world that person should be making $76k a year. In the magical fucked up-ness of New York living, that person is making $25k. (These are my calculations and I'm at work, so I apologize if they're slightly off - I like rounding up/down as well).

Harlem's population is about 118,000. Michael Bloomberg's personal wealth has risen $8.5 billion this year to an estimated $20 billion making him the 8th richest American. Bloomberg, with his earnings from this year alone could give every resident in Harlem $72,033. Every resident in Manhattan $5,247. Every resident of New York City $1,027. And every resident of the metro area $430. And he'd still have $11.5 billion left to his name.

So if you think trickle down economics is good and that Obama’s “spreading the wealth” is bad. Move to 125th Street my friend.

This is the biggest reason I’m against Bloomberg. He talks nice (a little nasally) and looks nice and has a nice story but I’m sorry, I think he’s done jack squat for most New Yorkers. I think he’s ignored Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx and Staten Island . Manhattan’s borough president is Scott Stringer. He doesn’t have to worry about Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx and Staten Island. The mayor of New York….does. New York City is not the Upper East Side or the Financial District. It’s Woodside, Riverdale, Elmhurst, Fox Hills Bed-Stuy, Coney Island, Morningside Heights, Astoria, Long Island City, Grasmere, Roosevelt Island, Bedford Park, Fordham, Flatbush, Pigtown, Woodlawn and Rockaway Park.

So ask yourself again Mayor Bloomberg, are you ready to lead this city, this entire city for another term and commit yourself the bettering of this city and its people? If you have just one doubt in your mind I ask you to think again.

Sources: here, here, and here (there are others, I'll post them when I can)

.well that guy.

That following things
will be
free
on Election Day
if you vote:
- A tall cup of coffee (Starbucks)
- A disgusting doughnut (Krispy Kreme)
- A tiny scoop of ice cream (Ben & Jerry's)
- An appetizer (MoBay Uptown, Harlem)
- A chicken sandwich (some Chick-Fil-A's)
- A pre-proceeded chicken meal (something called Shane's Rib Shack)
- A cup of coffee (Eat'N Park - which I only know exists because of an ex-boyfriend)
and most importantly...
- A Maverick (hilariously named and for the men) or a Silver Bullet (for the women) at Babeland in Brooklyn

.right off his perch.

Dear People of New York/The Earth,
1) No, I do not eat a ton of Chinese food because I like in Chinatown. Have you walked around the real Chinatown? Nothing is in English and I'm a vegetarian - bad combination. I actually eat a lot of Mexican food which is delivered by Chinese people. But thanks for asking (?)

and

2) I know I have a big fat ass. You don't have to tell me. You definitely don't have to yell it to me across 8th Avenue and have everyone on the street turn and look at it. But thanks for the thought (?)

.’bout to fall.

Oh man,
look at Christine Quinn
she's so going to kill
Bloomberg.

She so wanted to be mayor
(and I thought she'd be)
now he's gone and
fucked it all up.

It's okay Christine,
you can lez it up next time.

(original video here)

.that boy.

I should finish my thoughts on the election, but.....

This,
is the only thing on my mind.

“We play in a tough town to play in, and I’m proud of that,” said Pat Burrell, the longest-tenured Phillie, whose leadoff double in the seventh started the winning rally. “I’m proud to say I play here. I don’t think anybody in here understands the way the city and the people think more than I do. To be able to hand this over to them is as good as it gets.”

One big old, hooray!

.of festival brandy.

8:08pm
I don't know how I feel about this Barack Obama infomercial thing.
I'm actually thinking I'm against it....

.half pint.

I think (know) I've mentioned
before
but I'm a bit of a
Anglophile.

So reading about
this scandal
made me
well,
think....damn,
they don't have that
first amendment
over there.

Hate to be the boarish
American,
but,
jeez, stop being such prudes.

.whiskey in church.

I'm alive!

Sort of.
Frustrated and tired.

I promise to update.
Please come back to me....

I am tempting you with this adorable image.

.sacco drinking.

still crazy at work
(fuck! it's only tuesday)
so, here are some links:

• Yes We Can (hold babies)
• Cat love, hardcore.
• Actually, people who watch the debates already have their minds made up....
• This was a fun (and Obama-crazed) event on Sunday.
• Isn't this cool?
• And isn't this cute?
• I'm listening to this is chill me out...it makes me want to live in a slow motion montage.
  

(sorry)

since work is
eating my soul
and
making me question life in general
post will be
- sad
and
- infrequent

and keep thinking of
things to write about
but
i just forget them
and space out.

sigh.

.on a sunday.

Still down
blue
but
Inky helps.

Anywho,
it's stories like this
and that maple syrup smell
(which is gross, I hate maple syrup - viva la buttermilk smell!)
that make me smitten with
the
randomness of this city.

(image from Engrish Funny BUT is this actually around the corner from me and I have chuckled at it every time I walk by)

.’bout four in the morning.

Right now I'm
not depressed but
melancholy
like this city at night
will swallow me
whole.

I guess I had too much
time to think
in the cab home
(seriously, from 76th and Riverside Drive you should not have to go through the Lincoln Center, Times Square, Herald Square & Bleecker Street - you sir, cabbie, I hate you)

.what i'm doing now.

Dude,
I don't even know where
I've been
for the last week.

(wanders off in a nightgown)

.do you hear.

"Come on grand-pop, finish your meal so we can take you back to the home and the kids can get back to whatever they do in their rooms all day"

She gets press and McCain gets a boost in polls - why? She's a moron, she has stupid children and is fucking nuts. The McCain is just stupid or genius...I really can't tell.

This is hilarious commentary and probably the best I've heard.

Start watching and paying attention to someone who matters and will be our next president.

.some of these, baby.

The first ad was stupid
but i find this just
non-sequitur
(a running theme in my life recently)
to work and be amusing.

Also,
I was on the train
and the only people in my car
were morbidly obese
(like taking up 3 seats)
and people picking their
noses.
I wish I was
exaggerating.
no.
no.
no.

.i’m going to get me.

.somebody to measure.

.your baby.

Seriously?
Who thought this was good idea?
Hey, Bob, let's destroy the world today!
Okay Jim!

And this is why God hates us.

I took advanced biology instead of physics in high school and I'm still slightly confused about this and what it really means. It just seems like a multi-billion dollar waste of time.

.you got to find.

Apparently people in the rest of the world don't find a bimbo from the snow with too many guns and stupid children as adorable as we all do.

Seriously, I won't even mention it's name.
Fuck that woman.
Fuck her.
Fuck everyone seduced by her.
You look her in the eye and you'll turn into Karl Rove's panties (the period kind!)

(for this image, you're welcome!)

.half puerto rican chinese.

I am a piece of
political shit
(down Andre Serranos! down!).

it's tuesday
and i didn't vote.

I am such a schlub.

I went for a walk Sunday (a great walk!)
and was
bombarded
by flyers and such
but Paul Newell was the only one
I came across
who was actually standing there
shaking hands,
explaining policies
and generally being a nice guy
(although, in an awful suit! maybe his new job will pay him more).

I wanted to vote for you Paul!

But I thought,
hey, i'll vote after work.

Did I?
No, I left work at 6, went to a 6:30 lecture,
got out late
(apparently I have no sense of time today)
and farted around with some people from school
until I got home too late!

I'm so sorry Paul!
*cries*
PAAAAUUUULLLLLLLL

***************************************

UPDATED: PAUL!!!! I'm sorry! But 25% - that's pretty good for a 33 year old against one of the most powerful men in the state! You go little guy!

And Kevin Powell - I want to think you're cool as you relate to the good days of television in my very young youth, but I still find you annoying. You'll never outrun that argument with Julie, will you? I still think it's a classic moment in TV history. Sorry Kevin, I'll never see past that.

.for your pleasure.

Astroland
and
Rent
closed this weekend.

I'm not a Renthead
nor did I really like Astroland
(come on! it was lame and dirty and the employees were creepy! jump off the band wagon!)
nor have I been in New York long
but I felt like
a little piece of New York
died.

.she stands right there.

i thought today would be
awesome
or
different,
but it wasn't!

Why?

When I walked outside this morning,
there was
Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie
filming
(as y'all know)
Flight of the Conchords
one of the funniest shows....
ever!

I couldn't stop and watch,
I was late for work.
I should have said,
"Fuck, this is going to be a shit day at work, I'm gonna go be friends with some New Zealanders"
(and they have been
everywhere in my
neighborhood
everywhere!)

but I went to work.
It sucked.
Damnit!

(from exploding dog)

.bank rolled up on your sock.

....The scene from my mail box yesterday (Friday, the 5th)

Apparently, if you had
no idea
and lived in the 64th congressional district,
Sheldon "Shelly" Silver is (oddly) facing
opposition
for his seat as assemblymen.

He is also the Speaker of the Assembly in Albany.

I don't really
know
what he's done for the area
lately.

I just know
every
single
day
my mailbox is
flooded with election material.

But I am the Lorax, and I speak for the trees.

.in front of the east coast.

Again, I don't know if this is talked about as much in the rest of the world but the number one topic conversation from Friday, through the weekend and into today is VPILF. The fact that everyone is calling her VPILF just shows the complete lack of respect she is receiving from the country. On that note....

RE: VP Pick
Dear John McCain,

Thanks! (you fucking hypocrite)

Love (Love, love, LOVE),
The Democrats

PS: Nancy and Howard say hi but you'll see them all over the place soon anyway.

What is this magical piece of heaven you have sent us in the form of a governor from the largest state in the country? Seriously, what the fuck is she and what planet did she come from? She's like, Ted Nugent's dream girl (okay, maybe she's like 20 years too old but still). I don't need to talk about how she doesn't know what the Vice President does, how she's hiding her teenage daughters first child as her own (OMG! maybe her daughter and Jamie Lynn Spears could be BFFs), how she has less experience than my left butt check, how she has the most annoying voice ever, how she's being used like a cheap whore to win the female vote (nothing says I relate to most women like hunting and letting your teenage daughter get pregnant - I don't understand the reasoning that we should applaud these people for not getting abortions, pro-choicers don't advocate having abortions all over the place just because. And if her daughter did have an abortion it's none of our god damn business!), is living in a state who's addition to the country is still questioned - I mean, Hawii is like, pretty, and looks like an evil teacher one would have in 1st grade. I won't talk about those things, everyone else has already.

To be honest, I would be shocked if she was still the pick by the end of this month. I have feeling, the "I need to stay and keep care of my family" excuse might come into play but the bitch seems more ambitious than Hillary Clinton, so we'll see.

I'm also enjoying Bristol Palin's baby's daddy's MySpace recap found here and here. What a catch! He seems like the type who has fathered half the children in the county.

UPDATED: This is seriously all anyone is New York is talking about. Walking to lunch I did not hear a single conversations (sans the mystery ones in Spanish) that wasn't about this. And not in a Dark Knight sort of way but in a smug, fuck yeah the Democrats have it made sort of way. Even a photographer who is having his book published by us and is traveling around the world only wanted to talk about this! We've all come to the conclusion that abstinence education has the reverse effect. Telling teenagers to ignore their insanely strong instincts is dumb. Sex and hormones and the word "no". Need I say more?


OTHER FUN NEWS:
- Giggle, he's so cute!
- This indicates how bored people can get and easily they can get amused.
- Even the fashion world is following the amount of the dollar - one day it won't cost an entire year's salary to visit my favorite city.
- What a great non-NY Post headline.
- .Also in fashion, look how freaking awesome Todd Oldham's Old Navy collection is. Fuck Top Design, give me these clothes
- I mean, who thought this would be a bad idea? Oh, EVERYONE!

(i'm so happy i cried)

Obama: FUCK YEAH!!!!

.whizzin' on down.

The person who thought of the Queens
house numbering system,
is the same person who thought of the
B&H Photo system.

Neither makes much sense.

.there on the block.

Filed under:
things I do not understand.

WYNC was having a
one day
pledge drive
on Tuesday.

A foundation promised
to double (or something like that)
every dollar people donated.
Now,
why doesn't the foundation
(with it's probably
super rich
trustees)
just give twice as much?
Why ask average people
(although, yeah, the WNYC listener is
probably
a little better off than
most people)
to donate,
especially during a recession
when you damn well have the money in the
first place?

I do no understand this.
Please explain why
I
a listener
has to give money I don't have.


......I'm waiting.

.to that drag bar.

POLITICO:
(1)
Oh boy!
Oh boy!
I hope John McCain picks Tom Ridge
for his running mate.

Total disaster.

He's going for the PA vote,
but people in PA hate Ridge now.
He suggested suffocating ourselves in our
own homes
to protect us from terror.
And he's rainbow-tastic!

Genius!

(2)
"I could be your human lollipop"
He could,
just
look
at
him.

.out of the cinema fourteen.

I went for an amazing walk on Saturday morning.
Here it is with points and stories.

.well you spill.

This is my face today:


I could hypnotize people the freakish deformities on my face. Fuck!
I case you have no idea about the image above, watch here.

.down down downtown.

My comments regarding an article in New York magazine interviewing two people who live in the same area that I do:
(click to enlarge)

A. "Whole Paycheck" *slaps knees* OMG! That is like, totally funny! You should do stand up!

Actually, for the brands they carry, Whole Foods offers the best price than other places. So, you know.

B. Stop 1 Deli - yeah, you can get booze for cheap, if you're wearing a low-cut top, skirt and are willing to be leered at beyond any amount that a human should be subjected to. I sorta look young and I can just say, Yeah! I'm 23! and it works. Good thing I actually am.

C. This place offers organic, healthy or some fucking shit like that Chinese food. I don't doubt it's good but seriously, if you want Chinese food why would you pay 40 times as much for non-greasy food? That's the best part of Chinese food - it's bad for you and sooooo good. Go to Six Happy Kitchen down the block for a million dumplings for like 5 bucks.

D. Flowers Cafe is a "cute" place with nice people but the food is mediocre and I keep thinking it won't be but it always is.

E. Valley actually is pretty sweet. The clothes are overpriced and the shop girls are little annoying but nails and wax are fab!

F. Again, that's very true. It's not really a park but rather a street with some swings and a library.

G. Fuck that hipster store. No one is ever in there. Why did they decide to open here?

H. All those galleries in the area suck balls with crap art. And exactly the point she brought up is why: they took up the space where Flickers was - again, annoying hipsters worked there but it was some seriously awesome fresh coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. I had no idea, honestly, that Fine Far accepted cash and not just food stamps. I've never seen edible fruit or vegetable in there but god damn! they have 15 different types of Oreos!

2. This is worst than the Rite-Aid on McMechen Street in Baltimore and that's saying a lot.

3. Agreed. But it is the most unsettlingly clean deli on Delancey.

4. I might get shot by a gang of native New Yorkers but I do not think Kossar's Bialys is that great. It's better than grocery store bagels but I still like Bob's Bagel on University.

.we’re all going.

Chinese mafia? Whaaaat? No, I'm kidding. They run all of Chinatown. Really. Every Chinatown bus too.

.c'mon honey.

Today, about
70%
of the time I passed
members of the opposite sex
I've been harassed.

Seriously, stop it.

I'm wearing baggy jeans
and a vest;
I look like a little boy.

I heard a story today
on NPR
about domestic abuse workshops
and trying to help men understand
and respect
for women.
At the program the woman said
(to a group of mostly black and Hispanic men),
"When a police officer says
Good Morning
to you, do you honestly think he wants to
know
if you're having a good morning?"

It's abusive.
I refuse to feel unsafe
in open, public areas.

In conclusion:
FUCK OFF!

(image from here)